Kate Chopin is know for her exploration of complex human emotions and societal expectations of women. Chopin uses “Doctor Chevalier’s Lie” to investigate the intersection of morality, compassion, and deception.

Chopin’s work is no stranger to What Makes This Short Story Great? series. The first Post was “The Night Came Slowly.” Where the first story was more meditative and atmospheric, “Doctor Chevalier’s Lie” is a character-driven story. It’s the perfect story to analyze from both a reader’s and writer’s perspective.

Let’s begin!

If you’ve never read Chopin’s story, then STOP, click HERE, and read it.

Summary

In Chopin’s story, a doctor named Doctor Chevalier chooses to lie to protect the dignity of a recently found dead girl.

The story explores how personal morality can challenge societal judgment. It explains the cost of compassion and how humanizing acts of kindness can shape our understanding of integrity. It also investigates the moral dilemmas that arise when social norms and attitudes clash with personal ethics.

Most importantly, it shows how even small, merciful lies can carry profound emotional weight.

For aspiring writers, Chopin’s short story offers three key lessons in craft:

• How does Chopin use repetition subtly to create emotional resonance?

• How does Chopin use allusion to deepen the story’s themes?

• How does Chopin use characterization to create a complex and interesting character?

Let’s explore how these elements work together to create a story that’s as subtle as it is powerful.

How does Chopin’s subtle use of repetition add emotional nuance?

Chopin does not use repetition as an overt literary device in a poetic or rhetorical way. Instead, she uses is an extremely subtle approach to repetition to establish tone and themes rather than creating a rhythmic or effect on the reader.

Her use of repetition is also highly psychological and mirrors Doctor Chevalier’s shifting emotional state rather than serving as an overt language pattern.

And, Chopin’s use of repetition is very conceptual, with key ideas (sameness, recognition, invention) subtly echoed rather than explicitly restated.

By repeating certain phrases and details, she subtly reinforces the moral and emotional themes of the story.

I found four examples that require a close, careful reading of the story to see.

Repetition of “the same” to emphasize the routine nature of death in the setting

“The same scurrying; the same groups of tawdry, frightened women bending over banisters—hysterical, some of them; morbidly curious, others; and not a few shedding womanly tears; with a dead girl stretched somewhere, as this one was.”

This repetition of “the same” underscores how common violence and tragedy have become in this part of the city. It creates a sense of monotony that makes death feel almost procedural, until Doctor Chevalier realizes that this particular case is different.

Use of “certainly” and “yet” creates contrast between fact and emotions

“Certainly she was dead: there was the hole in the temple where she had sent the bullet through. Yet it was different.”

The repetition of “certainly” suggests that, on an absolute and factual level, there is no doubt about the girl’s death. However, the contrast introduced by “yet” signals a change from facts to emotions. Doctor Chevalier recognizes her and that makes this death personal. This emphasizes his inner conflict, as he tries to reconcile the certainty of death with the emotional impact of knowing the victim. What makes this victim different?

The concept of “letter” and “invention” as a repeated motif

“The following day he wrote a letter. One, doubtless, to carry sorrow, but no shame to the cabin down there in the forest. It told that the girl had sickened and died. A lock of hair was sent and other trifles with it. Tender last words were even invented.”

By isolating “a letter” as its own sentence and repeating the phrase, Chopin draws attention to the significance of this act. The act of writing a letter as a constructed version of reality is a repeated idea. The letter doesn’t just report a death, it rewrites the truth to protect the girl’s family.

The word choice of “invented” suggests that Doctor Chevalier is engaging in storytelling, not just reporting, which supports the theme that memory and truth are fluid and changing. This motif repetition underscores the story’s theme of deception vs. mercy. Is Doctor Chevalier lying, or is he offering a final kindness?

Repetition of “shoulders were shrugged” to highlight society’s indifference

“Of course it was noised about that Doctor Chevalier had cared for the remains of a woman of doubtful repute. Shoulders were shrugged. Society thought of cutting him. Society did not, for some reason or other, so the affair blew over.”

The phrase “shoulders were shrugged” conveys the dismissive attitude of society toward both the dead girl and Doctor Chevalier’s. The repetition of “society” further shows how arbitrary and fickle its judgment can be. First “society” considered rejecting him then ultimately letting the situation pass. This mirrors the larger theme of moral ambiguity and the hypocrisy of social norms.

Takeaways for writers when trying to add a subtle use of repetition

Repetition is a powerful storytelling tool that, when used intentionally and with nuance, can highlight a story’s themes, enhance the emotional tone, and shape a story’s rhythm.

Here are key four takeaways for writers looking to apply a nuanced approach to using repetition in their own work:

Use repetition to create a source of tension by establishing a routine and then disrupting it.

Writers can use repetition to lull readers into a pattern before breaking it, creating surprise, tension, or emotional weight.

Try this: Write a scene where a character repeats a daily routine (“The same coffee. The same empty chair. The same silence.”), then introduce a disruption that forces change.

Use repetition to create contradictions and internal conflicts in characters.

Repeating a certainty (“Of course it was over. Of course it had to be.”) followed by hesitation (“And yet…”) reflects a character’s internal conflict between logic and emotion.

Try this: Write a character’s decision scene where they repeat a belief they try to convince themselves of (“I don’t love her. I don’t love her.”), only to contradict it with an action that proves otherwise.

Use repetition to show the power of lies

Writers can use repetition to draw attention to how language shapes perception, whether through deception, persuasion, or reassurance.

Try this: Write a passage where a character repeats a comforting phrase to someone else (“Everything will be fine.”), but their internal thoughts contradict it, revealing doubt or guilt.

Use repetition to reflect and critique social attitudes and norms

Writers can use repeated gestures, phrases, or reactions from a group to criticize social norms, hypocrisy, or apathy.

Try this: Describe a setting where people repeatedly ignore a problem (“They looked away. They all looked away.”) to show complacency.

Make repetition purposeful

Repetition isn’t just about repeating words. Repetition is about what effect and impact it has on the reader.

• Does it build rhythm and reinforce a theme?

• Does it mirror a character’s emotional state or internal conflict?

• Does it draw attention to societal patterns or norms?

• Does it create a contrast between expectation and reality?

When used intentionally, repetition adds depth, resonance, and psychological weight to a story that makes it more immersive and emotionally compelling.

How does Chopin infuse the story with allusions to enhance the themes?

Chopin’s use of allusion adds layers of meaning to the story. It connects the personal story of the dead girl to broader cultural and moral ideas.

For writers, allusion offers a way to connect the specific to the universal. By drawing on cultural or literary references, allusions can expand a story’s ideas without explicitly stating its themes.

I found four examples of allusions or symbols that Chopin used in the story to build and highlight the story’s themes.

The Cathedral Tower

The cathedral tower is an allusion to morality and judgement

“Midnight had already rung in the old cathedral tower.”

The mention of a cathedral subtly introduces religious and moral connotations to the story. Cathedrals are traditionally associated with divine judgment, truth, and morality, which contrasts with Doctor Chevalier’s decision to lie.

Midnight symbolizes an ending and a beginning and suggests the themes of life and death.

The cathedral’s presence suggests a moral authority, yet its silence implies that human beings must face and overcome ethical dilemmas.

By placing the moment before Doctor Chevalier’s call at the stroke of midnight, Chopin evokes judgment, confession, and absolution, which are ideas central to religion.

The allusion raises the question: Is Doctor Chevalier’s lie a sin, or is it an act of grace?

The contrast between the permanence of the “old cathedral tower” and the tragic, fleeting life of the dead girl reflects the indifference of institutions have towards individual suffering.

The Arkansas Cabin

The Arkansas cabin is a symbol for The American Dream and the loss of innocence.

“The time was little more than a year ago. The place, a homely cabin down in Arkansas, in which he and a friend had found shelter and hospitality during a hunting expedition.”

“There were others beside. A little sister or two; a father and mother—coarse, and bent with toil, but proud as archangels of their handsome girl, who was too clever to stay in an Arkansas cabin, and who was going away to seek her fortune in the big city.”

The Arkansas cabin is a classic pastoral allusion, a reference to rural innocence and simplicity that is often contrasted with the corruption of the city.

The phrase “who was too clever to stay” recalls the American Dream and the myth that talent and ambition will lead to prosperity. But, in this case, it ultimately leads to the girl’s tragic downfall.

The description of the parents as “proud as archangels” introduces a biblical reference and emphasizes their faith in their daughter’s potential that is then taken away.

The contrast between the warm, family cabin and the cold, indifferent city reflects the tragedy of unattained aspirations. This allusion supports one of Chopin’s recurring themes: women seeking independence are often met with cruel realities.

The Arkansas cabin asks the reader to consider: Was the girl’s tragedy inevitable, or was she a victim of a society that lures women into false promises of success?

The Lock of Hair

The lock of the girl’s hair is an allusion to mourning and keepsakes.

“A lock of hair was sent and other trifles with it.”

When Chopin was writing in the Victorian era, it was common to send locks of hair as mementos of the deceased, especially among the upper class. The practice symbolized remembrance, emotional connection, and an attempt to hold onto the past.

The smallness of the lock of hair compared to the weight of the tragedy emphasizes the fragility of memory and the changing nature of grief. The girl’s family will never know the truth of what happened to their daughter and sister.

Doctor Chevalier, through this act, acts as a gatekeeper of reality by determining how the girl will be remembered.

Letter Writing

When Doctor Chevalier writes a letter to the girl’s family it’s an allusion to storytelling and redefining the truth.

“The following day he wrote a letter. One, doubtless, to carry sorrow, but no shame to the cabin down there in the forest.

“It told that the girl had sickened and died. A lock of hair was sent and other trifles with it. Tender last words were even invented.”

This passage alludes to how history is rewritten to protect the emotions of the living or protect the dignity of the dead. The invention of “tender last words” mirrors the way literature, history, and even journalism reshape narratives to fit societal expectations.

The allusion extends to myth-making, too. Doctor Chevalier becomes an author of an alternate reality and crafts a version of events that will be accepted rather than questioned. The girl becomes a myth that is shrouded in truth and fiction.

The act of rewriting truth connects to larger societal issues of selective memory, censorship, and the subjectivity of history.

The contrast between fact of the girl’s death and fiction of the girl’s peaceful passing highlights the power and the danger of storytelling.

It challenges readers by asking: Are we comforted more by truth or by fiction?

Takeaways for writers who want to use allusions in their writing

Allusions add layers of meaning without over-explaining everything

Chopin never explicitly states that the cathedral represents judgment or that the girl’s fate critiques the American Dream. She allows readers to make those connections for themselves.

Writer’s Tip: Use allusions subtle and trust readers to recognize deeper themes.

Allusions create emotional and intellectual depth

By referencing cultural practices and beliefs (religion, mourning rituals, pastoral life), Chopin taps into universal experiences that make the story more relatable, especially for audiences during her time.

Writer’s Tip: Consider how a reference to a historical event, religious symbol, or literary trope could deepen your story’s impact.

Allusions can challenge narrative assumptions readers may have

The cathedral suggests moral clarity, but the story proves morality is complex. The Arkansas cabin represents hope, but reality delivers tragedy.

Writer’s Tip: Use allusions to challenge assumptions rather than reinforce them.

Final Thought

Chopin’s use of allusion transforms “Doctor Chevalier’s Lie” into a meditation on truth, memory, and morality. Through religious references, the illusion of success, social traditions of mourning, and the nature of storytelling, she forces readers to confront difficult questions:

• Is Dr. Chevalier’s lie an act of mercy or manipulation?

• Do we shape history out of compassion or out of fear?

• Are some truths better left untold?

By infusing these allusions within a short, short story, Chopin ensures that its impact lingers long after the final line.

How does Chopin construct complex characters that engage readers?

What ultimately keeps readers invested in “Doctor Chevalier’s Lie” is the moral complexity of its eponymous character, Doctor Chevalier.

Doctor Chevalier is both compassionate and practical. His choice to lie about the girl’s death is not presented as right or wrong. His act of grace and respect is human. His actions reveal a character that is quietly defiant of society’s expectations and who operates within his own moral understanding.

Through small, deliberate choices, Doctor Chevalier becomes a character readers can empathize with even if they don’t agree with him.

For writers, characterization isn’t about making characters likable. (Sometimes that’s the worst thing a writer could do to their character.) It’s about making them understandable, more human. Actions, dialogue, and moral dilemmas are tools that bring characters to life and keep readers engaged.

Humans, like characters, are walking, talking contradictions. The more characters contain multitudes of beliefs, opinions, and behaviors, the more engaging the characters are for readers.

Let’s take a look at a few examples of how Chopin makes Doctor Chevalier engaging for the reader.

Doctor Chevalier is emotionally detached from the girl and his routine experience with death

“The quick report of a pistol rang through the quiet autumn night. It was no unusual sound in the unsavory quarter where Dr. Chevalier had his office. Screams commonly went with it. This time there had been none.”

This opening immediately characterizes Doctor Chevalier as someone who has become desensitized to violence and death. The indifferent tone shows that he expects these incidents and that he has witnessed similar tragedies before.

His detachment draws the reader in by asking: Why is this doctor so unemotional about something as shocking as a gunshot?

Readers are compelled to learn more about Doctor Chevalier’s mindset. Is he a cold and indifferent person? Or, does his restraint have a deeper purpose?

Doctor Chevalier’s realizes the death of the girl is personal

“Yet it was not the same. Certainly she was dead: there was the hole in the temple where she had sent the bullet through. Yet it was different.”

The repetition of “yet” shows a shift in his perception. This case isn’t a routine tragedy like he is used to.

The quick acknowledgment and assessment of her gunshot wound is clinical and factual.

The contrast between the cold, professional assessment and the personal recognition of the girl’s identity creates an emotional pull for the reader because it hints at an emotional pull for Doctor Chevalier.

Readers now feel the impact of this discovery and ask: What will Doctor Chevalier do now that this death is no longer just another case?

The line builds intrigue and anticipation for the reader and makes the reader emotionally invested in what Doctor Chevalier does next.

The contrast between the girl’s past and present

“The time was little more than a year ago. The place, a homely cabin down in Arkansas, in which he and a friend had found shelter and hospitality during a hunting expedition.

“There were others beside. A little sister or two; a father and mother—coarse, and bent with toil, but proud as archangels of their handsome girl, who was too clever to stay in an Arkansas cabin, and who was going away to seek her fortune in the big city.”

The “homely” description of the cabin and the parents’ pride “as archangels of their handsome girl” create an emotional connection between the reader and the girl and makes her tragic fate even more poignant.

The phrase “too clever to stay” conveys ambition and hope, but also foreshadows the girl’s tragic end.

By revealing the girl’s past through Doctor Chevalier’s memory, Chopin shifts the focus from the tragedy of her death to her lost potential. This shift makes the loss feel more personal and profound.

Readers now see the girl as more than just a nameless victim. She was a daughter, a sister, someone who had a dream she was pursuing.

This characterization evokes sympathy in the reader and heightens the story’s emotional stakes.

Doctor Chevalier’s decision to be responsible for her burial

“The girl is dead,” said Doctor Chevalier. “I knew her well, and charge myself with her remains and decent burial.”

Doctor Chevalier take control over the situation and chooses to treat the girl with dignity rather than leaving her fate to the authorities. The phrase “I knew her well” shows the personal connection Doctor Chevalier has with the girl, though we can only guess how he knows her. This further motivates his reason for taking care of her remains.

The phrase “charge myself” suggests a sense of duty and personal obligation, rather than fulfilling a professional responsibility and task.

Readers see Doctor Chevalier’s compassion emerge through his actions, which deepens his complexity as a character. The personal connection adds a twist to the story that rounds the

This moment transforms Doctor Chevalier from an observer to a participant, from a side character to a main character, and making the reader more invested in his choices.

The justification for Doctor Chevalier’s lie

“The following day he wrote a letter. One, doubtless, to carry sorrow, but no shame to the cabin down there in the forest.

“It told that the girl had sickened and died. A lock of hair was sent and other trifles with it. Tender last words were even invented.”

Doctor Chevalier purposefully creates a false but more comforting version of the truth and chooses to spare the girl’s family from disgrace rather than delivering the harsh reality.

The phrase “tender last words were even invented” ever so subtly reveals his internal conflict. He knows he is lying, but he does so out of mercy and a belief the reader will never know.

The emergence of Doctor Chevalier’s internal conflict raises some interesting questions for readers about his actions:

• Is this deception justified?

• Is protecting the family’s memory of her more important than the truth?

• What would the girl have wanted?

His struggle between honesty and compassion makes him a complex and engaging protagonist.

Society’s reactions to Doctor Chevalier’s actions

“Of course it was noised about that Doctor Chevalier had cared for the remains of a woman of doubtful repute. Shoulders were shrugged. Society thought of cutting him. Society did not, for some reason or other, so the affair blew over.”

The phrase “Of course it was noised” reveals how society judges both the girl and Dr. Chevalier’s involvement in the girl’s death. With every tragedy, society must whisper conspiracy theories. But, society does nothing.

The phrase “shoulders were shrugged” suggests apathy, hypocrisy, and the short-lived nature of public opinion.

Readers are presented with a contrast between Doctor Chevalier’s dilemma with society’s indifference. This contrast makes readers more sympathetic toward Doctor Chevalier.

This passage raises bigger questions about how people and society at large define morality and whether truth and dignity are mutually exclusive of each other or are even valued in society.

A few takeaways for developing characterization

Contrast detachment with personal investment

Introduce a character as emotionally distant, then break that distance to engage the reader.

Use a character’s past to deepen emotional impact for the reader

Reveal who they were before the story’s events to create sympathy and loss.

Show character through actions, not just thoughts

Doctor Chevalier never explains why he lies. His actions reveal his motivations.

Make readers question your character’s choices

Moral dilemmas and contrasting choices force readers to engage with the story on a deeper level.

Final Thought: Why Characterization Makes This Story Enduring

Chopin uses characterization to elevate the story beyond a simple moral dilemma. She draws readers into the deeply personal and psychological struggles of her protagonist.

Doctor Chevalier’s initial detachment, his moment of recognition, and his quiet decision to lie all reveal layers of complexity that make him more than just a passive observer. As the story progresses, Doctor Chevalier becomes a character forced to reconcile duty, compassion, and truth in a society that is indifferent.

What makes the story engaging is that Chopin never explicitly tells the reader how to feel about Doctor Chevalier. Instead, his choices invite interpretation:

• Is he a noble man shielding a grieving family from unnecessary pain?

• Is he a man who has taken it upon himself to create a new truth regardless of its implications?

• Does his final act reveal human kindness or the dangerous power of a revisionist memory?

This ambiguity is what makes Doctor Chevalier such an engaging character. Like the old adage, his actions speak louder than his words, and Chopin trusts readers to wrestle with his decisions.

For writers, Chopin’s simple story is a masterclass in subtle yet powerful use of characterization. Rather than relying on internal monologue, Chopin builds depth through contrast and choices. Doctor Chevalier’s restraint makes his final actions all the more compelling and proving that sometimes what a character does not say is just as powerful as what they do.

Your Turn: Readers & Writers Workshop

Tools for Readers: The Internal vs. External Character Test

Goal: To help readers analyze and evaluate how well a writer aligns a character’s internal emotions with their external actions in a story.

By applying this test to any story, readers can:

• Identify when a character’s external behavior contrasts with their true feelings, which creates tension and subtext.

• Understand how writers reveal emotion through action, dialogue, and body language instead of direct narration.

• Evaluate whether a character’s decisions feel authentic and consistent with their personality and past experiences.

How it works:

Step 1: Choose a key scene to analyze

Select a pivotal moment in the story where a character:

• Faces an important decision

• Experiences an intense emotion

• Interacts in a significant way with another character

Example from “Doctor Chevalier’s Lie”

Doctor Chevalier chooses to lie in his letter to the girl’s family is a critical moment. His external action (writing the letter) must align with or contrast with his internal conflict (protecting the family’s memory vs. telling the truth).

Step 2: Break the scene into internal vs. external actions or moments

Use a two-column chart to separate:

• Internal - What’s happening in the character’s mind and emotions?

• External - What do they physically do, say, or express?

[insert screenshot]

Step 3: Identify the relationship between internal and external conflict

Now, ask yourself:

• Does the character’s external behavior match their internal emotions?

• Does the author rely on subtext instead of explicitly stating emotions?

• Are there moments where the character’s actions reveal something deeper than their words do?

Common Patterns to Look For

• Characters who hide their emotions by saying one thing but feel another.

• Characters whose actions betray their words.

• Characters who hesitate before making a decision.

• Characters who deflect through humor or sarcasm.

Example from “Doctor Chevalier’s Lie”

He does not explicitly state his guilt, but his choice to handle the burial and rewrite the truth shows he feels personally responsible.

The fact that he “invents tender last words” implies he believes the family needs closure more than they need honesty. This action reveals his internal justification for the lie.

Tools for Writers: The Allusion Context Map

Goal: To help writers purposefully incorporate allusions into their stories to deepen themes, add layers of meaning, and connect their work to a broader literary or cultural conversation.

How it works:

Step 1: Identify the theme or idea from your story

Before deciding on an allusion, determine what core idea or theme from your story you want to reinforce.

• What emotions do you want your allusion to evoke?

• What bigger idea does your story explore (fate, morality, societal judgment, human ambition)?

• Does your story have a historical, mythological, or literary parallel that could add depth?

Example from “Doctor Chevalier’s Lie”

The story explores moral ambiguity and judgment, so Chopin subtly alludes to the cathedral tower, which is a symbol of religious authority.

Step 2: Brainstorm and choose a meaningful allusion

Think about a historical, literary, mythological, or religious reference that aligns with your theme.

• Direct allusions explicitly mentioning a name, event, or text.

• Indirect allusions are implied through setting, character arcs, or symbolic objects.

Examples of different types of allusions

• Biblical: A character facing extreme suffering may mirror Job.

• Mythological: A woman whose ambitions lead to her downfall might reflect Icarus.

• Literary: A character retreating from society could subtly reference The Scarlet Letter’s Hester Prynne.

Example from “Doctor Chevalier’s Lie”

Chopin’s mention of the cathedral tower is a subtle suggestion of moral authority but the church does nothing. This contrasts the idea of divine justice with the reality of human judgment.

Step 3: Create a context mind map

Now, visualize how your allusion connects to your story and create a mind map (on paper or digitally) with the following branches:

• Core Theme – What big idea does your story explore?

• Allusion Source – What specific book, myth, or historical event does your allusion draw from?

• Symbolism in Your Story – How does your allusion appear (characters, objects, setting)?

• Emotional Impact – What feeling do you want the reader to associate with it?

For each of these branches, brainstorm connections to your story. Connections could be to characters, events, scenes, moments, dialogue, actions, etc.

Example from “Doctor Chevalier’s Lie”

• Core Theme: Judgment and morality.

• Allusion Source: Cathedrals are places of religious moral authority.

• Symbolism in the Story: The cathedral tower marks the passing of time and suggests an unseen moral judge that does not intervene.

• Emotional Impact: The reader feels the emptiness of societal morality, as justice for the girl is absent.

Step 4: Weave the allusion into the story

Now that you’ve chosen an allusion and built its context, you can integrate it seamlessly into your writing.

• Use Setting: A character standing before a crumbling church might hint at a loss of faith or a crisis of faith.

• Use Character Parallels: A character who defies fate might echo Prometheus.

• Use Symbolic Objects: A birdcage could symbolize restriction, like I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings.

• Let the allusion enhance the story naturally rather than forcing the connection.

Example from “Doctor Chevalier’s Lie”

Instead of explaining the cathedral’s significance, Chopin mentions it at midnight. This allows readers to connect the themes of judgment, morality, and fate on their own.

The Allusion Context Map helps writers purposefully incorporate deeper levels of meaning into their work. Doing so makes their stories richer and more thought-provoking. Whether you’re writing a short story, novel, or flash fiction, intentionally choosing allusions can:

• Strengthen themes.

• Connect your work to a larger literary or cultural conversation.

• Engage readers who enjoy uncovering deeper meanings.

Writing Prompt to Practice Subtle Repetition, Allusion, and Characterization

It’s time for you to put pen to paper, finger to keyboard, and rewrite reality. But at what cost? After reading and studying “Doctor Chevalier’s Lie,” write a short, short scene using the same devices as Chopin.

The essence of Chopin’s story is that a single decision, such as choosing to alter the truth, reveals more about the character than the lie itself. So, let’s play with that concept and see how far we can take it.  

Think about a character who must choose between honesty and deception. Maybe they must deliver bad news to a loved one. Maybe they are writing a speech that rewrites history in their favor. Maybe they are giving a final confession but cannot bring themselves to tell the whole truth.  

Write a story of 1,000 words or less exploring how your character rationalizes their choice to alter the truth. Are they doing it for protection, for power, or for peace of mind?  

Include the following devices in your story:  

Subtle Repetition: Echo key phrases or ideas to reinforce inner conflict or create a sense of inevitability. Use a repeated gesture, phrase, or image that gains new meaning as the story unfolds.  

Allusion: Weave in historical, literary, or religious references to deepen the theme of morality, deception, or fate. Does your character compare themselves to someone famous? Do they feel like a tragic hero?  

Characterization Through Action: Rather than stating their feelings, show the character’s hesitation, certainty, or guilt through action. Do they pause before speaking? Cross out words in a letter? Avoid eye contact?  

Add a Moment of Realization: End with the character’s moment of understanding but not necessarily closure. Do they justify the lie? Regret it? Do they ever fully believe their own falsehood?  

I created a Google Doc of the prompt for you to use as you wish, click HERE. Make sure to make a copy.

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To give aspiring writers the tools and techniques to build their confidence, find their voice, and write damn good stories

Sometimes the most fearful moment is also the most humorous.

A sudden thud in the middle of the night turns out to be an iPad sliding off a table and slamming against the ground.

Or when you hear a sound in a dark room and it turns out to be your dog snoring.

The human psyche loves to generate a sense of fear in the most mundane of situations and circumstances. We let our anxiety get the best of us. Our inner storyteller hears a sound and immediately thinks a slasher will jump out and hack us to bits.

It’s the thin line that carefully binds fear, anxiety, and humor together that is the focus of Stephen Crane’s short tale, “A Tent in Agony.” A wonderful, quick read that is incredibly relatable and does a fantastic job at exploring the comedic side of fear and exaggerated panic.

If you want to read “A Tent in Agony” you can access it HERE.

Summary

In Crane’s story, four men set up camp in a forest while on a fishing trip. When supplies run out, three of them leave for a farmhouse and leave a man alone to watch over the campsite. As night falls, the forest becomes eerie, and the man becomes anxious. Out of the forest, a bear emerges. The man flees into the tent, but the bear follows and becomes entangled in the tent. In its struggle, the bear drags the tent across the ridge. Meanwhile, the man scrambles up a tree in fear. When the other men return, they are shocked to see their tent moving down the hill. By the time they reach the campsite, they find the man calmly smoking by the fire, acting as if nothing happened.

In this post, I’ll examine three elements of his craft: his use of hyperbole, his use of irony, and his use of setting. Let’s dive into how these elements work together and what writers can learn from them.

• How does Crane use hyperbole to support the theme?

• How does Crane use irony to add depth and humor?

• How does Crane use setting to heighten tension and comedy?

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How does Crane use hyperbole to support the theme?

Hyperbole is one of Crane’s most effective tools in “A Tent in Agony.” By blowing everyday frustrations out of proportion, Crane intensifies the stakes of a trivial situation and creates a story that is hilarious and relatable.

I picked out seven examples of hyperbole that elevate Crane’s story and give the reader a sense of grandeur to a situation that might otherwise feel mundane.

Example #1

“The little man arose slowly to his feet, his clothes refused to fit his back, his pipe dropped from his mouth, his knees smote each other.”

Crane exaggerates the man’s physical reaction to fear. His clothes do not actually change shape, and his knees don’t literally collide like a cartoon. This extreme reaction amplifies his panic and highlights how irrational fear can overwhelm a person, making them lose all composure. It turns fear into something exaggerated and humorous. It also reinforces the story’s exploration of how people often react disproportionately to perceived danger.

Example #2

“The hand of heaven sometimes falls heavily upon the righteous.”

This sentence suggests divine intervention against the man, as if the entire universe is conspiring to punish him. The phrase makes his bad luck feel epic and biblical. By portraying the character’s plight as a cosmic injustice, Crane mocks the way people exaggerate their misfortunes. It supports the theme of human frailty and show how minor inconveniences can feel like world-ending tragedies when viewed through the lens of self-pity.

Example #3

“The little man quaked and shriveled to a grip and a pair of eyes.”

This makes it sound like the man physically collapsed into nothing but his hands and eyes. Obviously, he remains whole, but the description exaggerates how fear reduces him to pure survival instinct. The absurdity of panic is central to the story. This sentence shows how extreme fear can make a person feel like they’re disappearing and heightens the comedy of the scene while showing how fear distorts reality.

Example #4

“The most appalling, blood-curdling whoops and yells came to where the little man was crying in a treetop and froze his blood.”

The phrase “blood-curdling” is a classic expression and example of hyperbole. It implies a level of terror so intense that it physically affects the body. In reality, his blood remains perfectly warm but the exaggeration emphasizes his horror. Crane satirizes the human tendency to overreact to fear. The man’s terror reaches ridiculous heights and his belief that the sounds he hears are horrifying shows how our minds make things worse when we panic.

Example #5

“The tent began to flounder. It took flopping strides in the direction of the lake.”

A tent cannot literally “flounder” or take “strides.” (Duh!) Crane describes it as if it were a living creature. This hyperbole turns an ordinary event (a bear entangled in a tent) into a disaster of comic proportions. It underscores the absurd nature of panic and shows how chaotic events can take on an outsized sense of urgency when perceived through fear.

Example #6

“The entangled monster failed to extricate himself before he had walloped the tent frenziedly to the edge of the mountain.”

The bear is called an “entangled monster,” and its struggle with the tent is described in dramatic terms. “Walloped” suggests a cartoonish level of force. Crane elevates a mundane event, such as an animal getting stuck, into a scene of epic destruction. This supports the theme by showing how small incidents spiral into major disasters when fear and exaggeration take hold.

Example #7

“As they disappeared, the bear cut loose with a mighty effort. He cast one disheveled and agonized look at the white thing, and then started wildly for the inner recesses of the forest.”

The bear’s reaction is described in extreme emotional terms (“disheveled and agonized”) as if it had survived a war. The phrase “mighty effort” exaggerates its struggle. The reversal of roles (the bear fleeing in terror rather than the man) reinforces the theme that fear is irrational. The bear, initially feared, ends up just as panicked as the man and illustrates, again, the absurdity of human and animal reactions to chaos.

How hyperbole enhances Crane’s story

Stephen Crane masterfully uses hyperbole in “A Tent in Agony” to heighten the comedic and exaggerated nature of fear and chaos. Each instance of hyperbole supports the theme by:

• Highlighting the absurdity of panic (the man “quaking and shriveling” in fear).

• Mocking the way humans exaggerate their own mishaps (“The hand of heaven sometimes falls heavily upon the righteous”).

• Transforming minor inconveniences into epic struggles (the tent “floundering” and the bear giving an “agonized look” before fleeing).

Crane’s use of hyperbole makes the story engaging, humorous, and relatable. It teaches writers how to use exaggeration to intensify tone, character reactions, and comedic storytelling.

A few thoughts to consider when using hyperbole in your writing.

Match hyperbole to the tone and genre

Hyperbole works well in humorous, satirical, and exaggerated storytelling, as seen in “A Tent in Agony.”

In serious or dramatic writing, hyperbole can be effective but should be used sparingly to avoid making a moment feel unintentionally comedic.

Use hyperbole to heighten emotion, not confuse the reader

Exaggeration should clarify how a character feels, not muddle it. If the reader can’t tell whether a phrase is literal or figurative, the hyperbole might be too much.

Keep it consistent with the character’s or narrator’s voice

Characters with dramatic personalities, like a nervous wreck or someone who is cocky, are great for hyperbole.

If a serious or stoic character starts speaking in exaggerated terms, it might feel out of place.

Ensure hyperbole enhances the theme

Writers should use hyperbole to reinforce a central theme rather than as decoration.

In “A Tent in Agony,” hyperbole highlights the craziness of fear and panic, which makes it essential to the story’s meaning.

Balance hyperbole with realism

A story that’s all hyperbole, all the time loses impact. If everything is exaggerated, nothing feels exaggerated.

Mixing hyperbole with relatable, grounded moments makes the exaggeration stand out more when it happens.

Use hyperbole to surprise and entertain

Unexpected or creative hyperbole can make a moment more engaging and memorable.

Overused exaggerations (“I was so hungry I could eat a horse”) lose their impact. Remember, new and fresh descriptions grab attention.

Hyperbole, when used intentionally, can elevate a story’s humor, intensity, or emotion. Writers should ask:

• Does this exaggeration make the story stronger, clearer, or more entertaining?

• If the answer is yes, the hyperbole is working effectively.

Crane’s use of hyperbole and exaggeration keeps the reader laughing while also reminding them of their own moments of melodrama. Writers can learn from this technique by experimenting with exaggeration to bring humor and emotional fullness to their work.

How does Crane use irony to add depth and humor?

Irony is another key ingredient in Crane’s story. Situational irony, in particular, drives most of the humor in the story. The man, who prides himself on his outdoor skills, finds himself defeated by a tent. Even the bear, a symbol and a source of fear in the wild, is depicted with irony as it plays in the woods while the man spirals into chaos.

Below are five examples of irony used in “A Tent in Agony” and how the use of irony adds depth and humor.

Example #1

“Immediately a little man volunteered to stay and hold the camp while the remaining three should go the Sullivan county miles to a farmhouse for supplies. They gazed at him dismally. ‘There’s only one of you—the devil make a twin,’ they said in parting malediction.”

Situational Irony: The expectation is that the man will simply stay at camp without anything happening. Instead, he ends up in a ridiculous, life-or-death struggle with a bear.

How it adds depth and meaning

• The humor comes from the mismatch between his seemingly minor responsibility (staying at the camp) and the chaos that follows.

• The depth comes from the foreshadowing in his friends’ farewell (“The devil make a twin”), hinting at the irony that unfolds.

Example #2

“The little man arose slowly to his feet, his clothes refused to fit his back, his pipe dropped from his mouth, his knees smote each other. ‘Hah!’ he bellowed hoarsely in menace.”

Dramatic Irony: The reader knows that the man is terrified, but his words (“Hah!”) suggest an attempt at bravery.

How it adds depth and meaning

• The humor comes from the contrast between his intended intimidation and his actual fear. The man’s knees are knocking together, and yet he tries to act tough.

• The depth comes from how Crane satirizes human boldness and shows how people try to act courageous even when they are overcome by fear.

Example #3

“He lay down on his back, took the coat on his four paws and began to play uproariously with it.”

Situational Irony: The expectation is that the bear will be terrifying and aggressive. Instead, it plays with the coat like a child with a toy.

How it adds depth and meaning

• The humor comes from subverting the reader’s expectation of the bear as a monstrous threat. Instead, it behaves like a playful animal and makes the man’s earlier panic seem more absurd.

• The depth comes from how Crane challenges the traditional view of danger and shows that fear is often exaggerated and that nature is not always as hostile as humans imagine.

Example #4

“Three men, clambering up the hill with bundles and baskets, saw their tent approaching. It seemed to them like a white-robed phantom pursued by hornets.”

Dramatic and Situational Irony: The men expect to return to a peaceful camp, but instead they find their tent rolling down the hill like a phantom.

How it adds depth and meaning

• The humor comes from how silly the situation has become with the tent, which should be stationary, is now a participant in the chaos.

• The depth comes from the personification of the tent, which supports the story’s theme that nature and objects seem to take on a mind of their own in moments of panic.

Example #5

“The three fear-stricken individuals ran to the rebuilt fire. The little man reposed by it calmly smoking. They sprang at him and overwhelmed him with interrogations. He contemplated darkness and took a long, pompous puff. ‘There’s only one of me—and the devil made a twin,’ he said.”

Situational and Verbal Irony: Earlier, the man was terrified, but now, he acts as though nothing has happened. His phrase “There’s only one of me—and the devil made a twin” is an ironic echo of what his friends said earlier.

How it adds depth and meaning

• The humor comes from his transformation from a panicked mess to a calm and wise storyteller. His friends expect him to be shaken, but he acts like what happened was no big deal.

• The depth lies in how people can and will rewrite their own experiences, such as the man’s exaggerated fear is now rewritten in favor of a confident retelling. This highlights the irony of memory and perception because in the moment, fear is all-consuming, but afterward, people often downplay their terror.

How irony enhances Crane’s story

Crane’s use of irony in “A Tent in Agony” creates a balance of comedy and insight into the human psyche. Each instance of irony adds both humor and depth by:

• Undermining expectations: The bear plays instead of attacking, and the tent “flees” like a ghost.

• Exaggerating human tendencies: Fear, boldness, and the way we retell stories to sound better after the fact.

• Highlighting the silliness of panic: The man’s exaggerated fear conflicts with his later calm retelling.

Irony is one of the key reasons the story is entertaining while also reflecting on human nature and how our fears often feel monumental in the moment but become laughable in hindsight.

A few thoughts to consider when using irony in your writing.

Identify the type of irony you want to use

Irony comes in different forms and knowing which one you want to use in a scene helps you apply it effectively:

• Situational Irony: When the outcome is the opposite of what is expected.

• Dramatic Irony: When the audience knows something the character does not.

• Verbal Irony: When someone says one thing but means the opposite.

Writers should match the type of irony to the goal of their story. Situational irony creates surprises, dramatic irony builds tension, and verbal irony adds wit or sarcasm.

Make the use of irony clear and understandable

Irony works best when the audience recognizes the contrast between what is expected and what actually occurs.

If the irony is too subtle or confusing then readers may miss the joke or misinterpret the meaning.

Irony needs to be framed properly so the reader understands what the expectation was and how it was subverted.

Irony should serve a purpose, not just be cute and clever

An effective use of irony isn’t only about creating a twist, it should reveal character flaws, highlight themes, or enhance the tone of the story.

Writers should ask: Does this use of irony add depth to my story? Or is it just a joke?

A use of irony should deepen the story’s meaning and not be a gimmick.

Consider the tone of your use of irony

• Lighthearted irony works well in comedic or satirical writing.

• Dark irony works well in tragedies or serious themes.

• Subtle irony works in realistic fiction.

The type of irony should fit the mood of the story. Dark irony can feel out of place in a lighthearted story, and vice versa.

Irony should feel natural and not forced

Readers shouldn’t feel like the writer is manipulating events for the purpose of creating irony.

The use of irony should come naturally from the characters, their decisions, their actions, and the world of the story.

If irony feels too staged, it breaks down. Readers should feel like the story naturally led to the ironic twist.

Use Irony to Strengthen Character Development

Irony can reveal a character’s flaws, blind spots, or misguided confidence.

Characters should not realize the irony of their situation right away. The humor or tragedy often comes from their lack of awareness.

Good irony exposes truths about characters and makes them more complex and engaging.

Ask yourself these questions before using (or revising) irony in a story

• Does the use of irony create a purposeful contrast between expectation and reality?

• Is the irony clear and easy to understand?

• Does the irony serve a purpose in the story (theme, character development, humor)?

• Does the tone of the irony match the overall tone of the story?

• Does the irony feel natural and not forced?

When used effectively, irony adds layers of meaning to a story and make the story funnier, more tragic, or more insightful. Writers who effectively use irony can create moments that stick with readers long after they’ve finished the story.

Crane’s use of irony doesn’t just entertain readers; it deepens the themes of the story. It underscores the futility of human arrogance and the inevitability of failure when we think we’re in control. The humor softens the lesson and makes it easier for readers to reflect on their own missteps. For writers, irony can be a powerful tool to surprise readers and reveal character flaws in an engaging way.

How does Crane use setting to heighten tension and comedy?

Finally, the setting of “A Tent in Agony” plays a crucial role in highlighting the humor and the tension. The setting becomes an antagonist and works against the man at every turn. This hostile environment makes the man’s struggles feel more urgent and his failures more absurd.

Below are seven examples of how the setting heightens the tension and comedy of the story.

Example #1

“Four men once came to a wet place in the roadless forest to fish. They pitched their tent fair upon the brow of a pine-clothed ridge of riven rocks whence a boulder could be made to crash through the brush and whirl past the trees to the lake below.”

How Crane’s use of setting create tension and comedy

• Tension: The “roadless forest” emphasizes isolation, shows help is far away, and the protagonist must fend for himself. The rugged terrain adds physical danger and suggests (foreshadows?) the possibility of things going very wrong.

• Comedy: The dramatic description of the land as a place where a boulder could “crash through the brush” foreshadows chaos. The setting is already working against the characters and make it a fitting backdrop for the impending disaster.

Example #2

“When it came night and the hemlocks began to sob they had not returned. The little man sat close to his companion, the campfire, and encouraged it with logs.”

How Crane’s use of setting create tension and comedy

• Tension: The phrase “the hemlocks began to sob” personifies the trees and makes the forest feel alive and eerie. The darkness and loneliness make the man more vulnerable.

• Comedy: His only “companion” is the campfire, which he “encourages” as if it’s a human. This exaggerates his desperation for comfort and makes the scene feel pitiful and amusing.

Example #3

“Suddenly he heard the approach of the unknown, crackling the twigs and rustling the dead leaves.”

How Crane’s use of setting create tension and comedy

• Tension: The forest is no longer silent, foreshadowing an unseen threat. The ambiguity of “the unknown” builds suspense and makes the reader wonder whether it’s a dangerous animal or something else.

• Comedy: The setting sets up the punchline. After all the build-up, the “terrifying” intruder is just a bear. The contrast between expectation (a monstrous attacker) and reality (a bear minding its own business) makes the moment funny.

Example #4

“The little man, now without the tent, felt a tremendous paw grab his coat tails. He squirmed and wriggled out of his coat like a schoolboy in the hands of an avenger.”

How Crane’s use of setting create tension and comedy

• Tension: The tent, meant to provide shelter and protection, fails the man. Instead of being a safe retreat, it becomes a trap, not for the man, but for the bear.

• Comedy: The man’s panicked escape (wriggling out of his coat like a schoolboy) contrasts with the serious threat and makes the moment feel like a slapstick routine. The tent, rather than offering security, plays an unintentional role in intensifying the ridiculousness of the moment.

Example #5

“The tent began to flounder. It took flopping strides in the direction of the lake. Marvelous sounds came from within—rips and tears, and great groans and pants.”

How Crane’s use of setting create tension and comedy

• Tension: The floundering tent is total chaos. The sounds of ripping and groaning create an image of something massive and uncontrollable. The tent is the beast the bear is supposed to be.

• Comedy: The tent is personified as if it’s a living thing that stumbles toward the lake like a monster. The absurdity of a tent coming to life and “running” away makes the scene exaggerated.

Example #6

“Three men, clambering up the hill with bundles and baskets, saw their tent approaching. It seemed to them like a white-robed phantom pursued by hornets.”

How Crane’s use of setting create tension and comedy

• Tension: The setting contributes to the mayhem. The men expect to return to a quiet camp, but instead, they see their shelter flying toward them. The scene’s unpredictability keeps the reader engaged.

• Comedy: The ghostly image of a tent chasing itself down a hill is ridiculous. Comparing it to a “phantom pursued by hornets” turns the moment into a cartoon.

Example #7

“Below them it struck the base of a great pine tree, where it writhed and struggled.”

How Crane’s use of setting create tension and comedy

• Tension: The tent crashing into a tree is the climax of the chaos. This unpredictable setting element forces the bear to struggle more and intensifies the absurd conflict.

• Comedy: The word “writhed” suggests the tent and bear are engaged in a wrestling match. It seems like the tent itself has become the bear’s opponent. The bear, once feared, is now the victim of a ridiculous situation.

How setting strengthens the story

Crane uses setting not just as a backdrop but as a character in the chaos, which heightens both tension and comedy by:

Establishing isolation and danger

The wilderness makes the man alone and raises the stakes.

Creating an atmosphere of uncertainty

The dark forest plays on the reader’s fear of the unknown and makes ordinary sounds seem threatening.

Turning the tent into a source of ridiculousness

Instead of providing safety, the tent traps the bear and becomes a force of destruction.

Escalating the climax through the landscape

The rugged terrain and crashing into a tree bring the story to an unexpected and ridiculous conclusion.

By making the setting active, Crane blends humor and suspense and turns a camping mishap into a slapstick survival story.

A few thoughts to consider when using setting in your writing.

Make the setting active, not passive

A good setting is not just background. A good setting interacts with characters, influences the plot, and shapes the story’s tone.

Instead of describing where a story takes place, think about how the setting causes problems, sets the mood, or affects the characters’ emotions.

Use setting to reinforce the tone and mood

A setting should match and enhance the emotional tone of a scene or story.

Ask: Does the setting enhance fear, humor, loneliness, tension, or excitement in the story?

Show, don’t just tell, the setting

Instead of listing details, weave them into the action and emotions of the characters.

Use sensory details to bring the setting to life.

Use setting to reflect a character’s emotions

The environment can mirror or contrast a character’s emotions.

• Example: In “A Tent in Agony” the wilderness reflects the man’s vulnerability. He is small and the forest is vast, and his flimsy tent offers no protection.

• Example: A lonely character walking through an empty desert emphasizes their isolation.

• Example: A grieving character in a noisy, bustling city contrasts their internal pain with external chaos.

Make setting essential to the conflict

A setting should create obstacles, limitations, or opportunities for the characters.

Ask: Would this story still work if it were set somewhere else? If the answer is yes, the setting may need to be stronger.

• Example: In “A Tent in Agony” the wilderness is crucial to the story. If the man were in a house there would be no bear, no panicked escape, and no tent rolling down the hill.

• Example: In Lord of the Flies, the deserted island forces the boys into survival mode and reveals their true nature.

• Example: A courtroom setting in a legal thriller creates built-in conflict because lawyers must argue their case against each other.

Avoid overloading the reader with description

Setting should enhance the story and not slow it down with a bunch of unnecessary details.

Avoid info-dumps and exposition. Weave descriptions into the action.

Use setting symbolically

A setting can represent something deeper and more meaningful and illuminates the story’s themes.

• Example: In “A Tent in Agony” the unpredictable and chaotic forest symbolizes how humans are at the mercy of nature and their own irrational fears.

• Example: A crumbling house in a novel about a failing marriage could symbolize the relationship falling apart.

• Example: A character escaping a dense, dark forest could symbolize overcoming personal struggles.

Ask yourself these questions when writing a setting with purpose

• Does the setting actively influence and shape the story, or is it only background?

• How does the setting enhance the mood of the scene?

• Am I showing the setting through action and sensory details rather than listing descriptions?

• Does the setting reflect or contrast my character’s emotions?

• Does the setting create conflict or obstacles that move the plot forward?

• Is the setting symbolic in any way? How?

When written well, setting isn’t just a place, it’s a force that shapes and influences the story, influences characters, and deepens themes.

The wilderness, with its indifference to human plans, reflects the broader theme of life’s unpredictability. For writers, this shows how a carefully crafted setting can do more than provide a backdrop. An intentionally written setting can shape the story’s tone and influence the story’s conflict.

Your Turn: Readers & Writers Workshop

Tools for Readers: Setting & Tone Map

Goal: To help readers see how setting actively shapes the story, sets the mood, influences character behavior, and reinforces the story’s themes.

How it works:

Step 1: Select a story or passage

• Draw or outline the setting of the story or passage

  • Sketch the physical environment of the story (forest, lake, tent, campfire).

  • If you don’t want to draw, them list key locations and their descriptions.

Step 2: Identify how the setting affects the mood and tone

• Ask: What emotions does this setting create?

  • Is it tense, eerie, comedic, chaotic?

  • Does the setting make the character feel safe, trapped, overwhelmed, isolated?

• Example from “A Tent in Agony:”

  • Nighttime forest = Isolation, vulnerability

  • Flimsy tent = False sense of security, comedic failure of protection

  • Steep hill = Chaos, slapstick potential

Step 3: Analyze how the setting creates conflict

• Ask: How does this setting create problems for the characters?

• Example: The tent, instead of offering shelter, traps the bear and becomes a rolling disaster.

Step 4: Connect the setting to the story’s themes

• Ask: What larger idea does this setting reinforce?

  • In “A Tent in Agony,” the untamed wilderness represents how nature and fear are unpredictable, which makes human attempts at control laughable.

How this tool helps readers

• Enhances story comprehension: Readers recognize how Crane’s chaotic landscape escalates tension and humor.

• Deepens analysis skills: Instead of “seeing” the setting, readers examine how it impacts the plot.

Tools for Writers: World-Building Through Setting Map

Goal: To help writers create settings that are active, immersive, and integral to the story and ensures the setting enhances conflict, mood, and character development.

How it works:

Step 1: Define the Core Setting

• Identify the main location(s) where the story takes place.

• Ask: What makes this place unique? (Is it a dense forest, a futuristic city, a haunted house?)

Step 2: Map the Physical Layout

• Sketch or describe the key locations in the setting.

• Label important elements (e.g., campfire, tent, ridge, lake).

• Ask: What obstacles exist in this space? (Steep hills, dangerous animals, harsh weather).

Step 3: Determine How the Setting Affects Tone & Mood

• Ask: Does this setting create fear, humor, suspense, adventure?

Step 4: Make the Setting an Active Player in the Story

• Ask: How does this setting create conflict?

Step 5: Connect the Setting to Theme & Character Development

• Ask: What does this setting reveal about the characters?

How This Helps Writers

• Prevents generic settings: Writers avoid bland backdrops by ensuring the setting shapes the story’s action.

• Enhances tone and atmosphere: The process forces writers to align setting with emotion and theme.

• Encourages active storytelling: Writers learn how setting can create problems, reveal character traits, and propel the plot forward.

Writing Prompt to Practice Hyperbole, Irony, and Setting

Imagine a landscape where nature seems to have its own mischievous intentions. After reading and studying “A Tent in Agony” by Stephen Crane, write a 500 to 1,000 word short story that uses hyperbole, irony, and setting as an active force in the narrative.

Imagine a character who embarks on what should be a simple outdoor experience. It could be a camping trip, a solo hike, a fishing expedition, or a backyard barbecue. But something about the environment refuses to cooperate. The landscape is not haunted, not supernatural. But it's absurdly and hilariously unmanageable.

Your protagonist could be anyone, like a seasoned survivalist, a nervous novice, an overconfident planner, but the world around them has other plans. Their attempt to master the situation only makes things worse.

Consider:

- How does the setting itself become an obstacle? Is the weather unreasonably unpredictable? Do inanimate objects (like a tent, a campfire, or even a canoe) seem to have a personal vendetta?

- How does your protagonist react to this escalating disaster? Do they keep up a false sense of bravado? Do they resign themselves to fate?

- What role does irony play? What does your character expect to happen vs. what actually happens?

Include the following devices in your story:

Hyperbole: Exaggerate the character’s misfortune in an entertaining way. Does a small gust of wind turn into a hurricane-level disaster? Does a single mosquito swarm like an invading army?

Irony: Challenge and subvert readers' expectations. Maybe the protagonist spends days preparing only for one tiny mistake to unravel everything. Or perhaps they’re terrified of one thing, only to be undone by something completely different.

Setting as Character: Make the environment actively shape the conflict. Whether it’s an untrustworthy tent, a deceptively peaceful lake, or an overly ambitious bonfire, the landscape should feel like an unpredictable force.

Example Scenarios:

A man, proud of his expensive new camping gear, watches helplessly as nature systematically destroys each item in a series of absurd events.

A nervous first-time hiker, who’s been terrified of bears, encounters everything but a bear, like swarming squirrels, judgmental deer, an overly aggressive goose.

A group of friends embarks on a simple fishing trip, only to find that the lake itself seems determined to keep its fish at all costs.

I created a Google Doc of the prompt for you to use as you wish, click HERE. Make sure to make a copy.

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My Mission

To give aspiring writers the tools and techniques to build their confidence, find their voice, and write damn good stories

Virginia Woolf sits on the board of my creative directors of inspiration. Her style, her approach to storytelling, and her belief in the otherworldly power of art to transform human perception continues to drive my own creative pursuits.

I first encountered Woolf’s writings in graduate school where I had to fill a few credits for my masters and decided to enroll in a seminar focused only on Virginia Woolf.

We had to read EVERYTHING by Woolf. Novels. Short stories. Essays. And, yes, her entire oeuvre of journals. The latter being the focus of an essay I wrote tracing the creative journey of To The Lighthouse, one of my favorite novels.

(It was also the essay in which the feedback I received from my professor was longer and better written than the paper I submitted. Grad school, if you know what I mean.)

I’m excited to share this little yet powerful story of Woolf’s that I think is the perfect representation of all of her writings: poetic, haunting, intentional, layered, and, more importantly, human.

Woolf’s “A Haunted House,” is a story that unfolds in quiet glimmers of meaning and gently asks the reader to listen closely for what’s just beneath the surface.

Before reading on, you MUST stop and read Woolf’s beautifully haunting story. You can access it HERE.

Summary

In “A Haunted House,” Woolf reimagines a ghost story, not as a tale of terror but as an exploration of the relationship between love, memory, and the passage of time. A living couple shares their home with the spirits of a long-deceased couple who search for something precious—not gold, not possessions, but a feeling, a moment, a truth. The story suggests that what haunts us most isn’t fear but the echoes of love that live on beyond death.

With her characteristic ethereal, poetic language, Woolf crafts an atmosphere where reality and memory blur.

Let’s explore three techniques that make Woolf’s story so compelling:

1. How does Woolf use symbolism to deepen the story’s meaning?

2. How does Woolf use repetition and rhythm to create a hypnotic effect for the reader?

3. How does Woolf’s use of stream-of-consciousness engage the reader?

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How does Woolf use symbolism to deepen the story’s meaning?

In Woolf’s story, common objects become infused with emotion and history. Innocuous items transform the house into something more than just a setting—it becomes a vessel for love, memory, and time.

The House

“Whatever hour you woke, there was a door shutting.”

The house is more than just a setting—it represents continuity, memory, and love. It holds both the living and the dead, blurring the boundaries between past and present. The idea that doors are always opening and shutting suggests the movement of time and the constant presence of those who once lived there.

Light and a Heartbeat

“The pulse of the house beat softly.”

The house is described as if it’s alive. A being with a heartbeat. This symbolizes warmth, intimacy, and love as something enduring and organic.

Light, which flickers and moves throughout the story, represents the intangible presence of the ghosts—not frightening but comforting, like a lingering memory that flickers on and off in our minds.

Treasure

“The treasure buried; the room…”

The ghosts are searching for a “treasure,” but it’s not material wealth. The treasure is love or happiness or a shared moment of connection. The search for this treasure reflects how people, both alive and dead, search for meaning and fulfillment beyond the physical world.

Doors Opening and Closing

“From room to room they went, hand in hand, lifting here, opening there, making sure—a ghostly couple.”

The repeated image of doors opening and closing symbolizes transition between life and death, past and present, presence and absence. It reinforces the idea that memories and love do not vanish but instead move through time like a flickering light.

Windows and the Outdoors

“Looking out into the garden, the trees tossing their boughs.”

The outdoors represents freedom, movement, and life. The window serves as a threshold, a passageway, between the interior (memory, reflection, love preserved in the house) and the exterior (the ongoing world, change, and life beyond the past). The movement of the trees contrast with the stillness of memory inside the house.

Death as Glass

“Death was the glass; death was between us.”

Death is a barrier—like glass, it separates but does not erase. The living and the dead are divided, yet they can still see each other. They can still feel the presence of love across time.

Each of these symbols works together to reinforce Woolf’s central theme: love and memory exists beyond death. The ghosts are not lost souls seeking revenge or resolution. They are lovers retracing their happiness and prove that emotions and connections extend beyond time.

A few ideas to consider when using symbolism.

Symbolism should deepen meaning, not just decorate

Woolf’s symbols—light, doors, the house, and the treasure—aren’t decorations for the setting. Each supports the story’s theme of love transcending time.

Takeaway: Writers should make sure the symbols they use in their story serve a deeper purpose that deepens the emotional and thematic essence of the story.

Use subtle symbolism to create layers of meaning

Woolf doesn’t explicitly state that the treasure is love or that doors represent transitions. Instead, she allows the reader to interpret these elements naturally.

Takeaway: Writers can use symbolism to create a more immersive and thought-provoking reading experience.

Let symbolism work with other literary devices and techniques

Woolf pairs symbolism with personification (e.g., “the pulse of the house”) and metaphor (e.g., “Death was the glass”) to make abstract concepts tangible. And relatable!

Takeaway: Writers can combine symbolism with imagery, tone, or structure to enhance the story’s depth and richness.

Repetition reinforces symbolic meaning

The repeated image of doors opening and closing supports the idea of movement between past and present.

Takeaway: Writers can use recurring symbols throughout a story to create resonance and unity.

Symbolism can evoke emotion without direct explanation

Woolf’s symbols create a nostalgic, beautiful atmosphere without heavy exposition.

Takeaway: Writers should trust their readers to infer meaning rather than over-explaining the significance of a symbol. Readers know more than you think!

The mundane can be symbolic

Woolf transforms an ordinary house into a cradle of memory, love, and time.

Takeaway: Writers should consider how everyday objects (windows, doors, lights, etc.) can take on deeper meaning in their own stories.

How does Woolf use repetition and rhythm to create a hypnotic effect for the reader?

Repetition and rhythm shape the way a story is read and, more importantly, how the story is felt.

Woolf’s use of recurring phrases, sentences that echo each other, and a flowing, almost breathless rhythm envelopes the reader in the ethereal nature of time and memory.

The rhythm of the story mimics the drifting movements of the ghosts and the living couple. It also supports the idea that the past is never gone. The past echoes within our memories and within time.

By using repetition, Woolf captures the way emotions, especially love and loss, return to us in waves. This technique keeps the story from feeling like a linear narrative; instead, it feels like a pulse, a heartbeat, a series of recurring moments.

Here are seven sentences to review and study from “A Haunted House” that masterfully use repetition and rhythm.

Sentence #1

“‘Safe, safe, safe,’ the pulse of the house beat softly.”

The repetition of “safe” mimics a heartbeat. This creates the idea that the house is alive and pulses with memory and emotion. This rhythmic repetition lulls the reader into the story’s dreamlike atmosphere.

Sentence #2

“Death was the glass; death was between us; coming to the woman first, hundreds of years ago, leaving the house, sealing all the windows; the rooms were darkened.”

The repetition of “death” emphasizes its inevitability and its role as a boundary between the living and the dead. The rhythm of the sentence, with its cascading waterfall of clauses, mimics the movement of time and draws the reader deeper into the story’s poetic flow.

Sentence #3

“‘Here we left it,’ she said. And he added, ‘Oh, but here too!’ ‘It’s upstairs,’ she murmured. ‘And in the garden,’ he whispered.”

The back-and-forth rhythm of dialogue, combined with short, fragmented sentences, creates a call-and-response effect. The reader is drawn into the ghost couple’s intimate search as if overhearing an incantation or a song.

Sentence #4

“‘Open the door,’ he breathed, ‘we might find it here,’ he murmured.”

The repeated plea to “open the door” creates suspense and expectation. The soft, rhythmic phrasing (“he breathed,” “he murmured”) makes the moment feel ethereal. This blurs the boundary between past and present.

Sentence #5

“‘They’re looking for it; they’re drawing the curtain,’ one might say, and so read on a page or two.”

The repeated structure (“They’re looking for it; they’re drawing the curtain”) mirrors the movement of the ghosts themselves and adds a hypnotic quality that makes the reader feel like they, too, are moving through the house like ghosts.

Sentence #6

“‘But it wasn’t that you woke us. Oh, no. They’re looking for it; they’re drawing the curtain,’ one might say, and so read on a page or two. Now they found it. One would be certain, stopping the pencil on the margin.”

This passage repeats “they’re looking for it” and “one might say,” and supports the cyclical, elusive nature of the search. The rhythm slows down the reading pace and forces the reader to feel caught in the same timeless loop as the ghosts.

Sentence #7

“‘The treasure buried; the room… the heart of the house beats proudly.’”

The repetition of “the” before each noun slows down the sentence and makes it feel deliberate and ceremonial. The rhythmic phrasing makes the house feel alive and highlights the connection between the home, memory, and love.

A few ideas to consider when using repetition.

Repetition can create a hypnotic or dreamlike effect on the reader

Woolf’s repetition of words and phrases (“safe, safe, safe”; “they’re looking for it”) makes the story feel fluid and continuous as if the reader is moving through a dream.

Takeaway: Writers can use repetition to soften transitions, blur time, and create a sense of inevitability or mystery.

Rhythm can mirror the story’s emotional arc

Woolf’s repeated mention of a “pulse” or “beating” mimics a heartbeat and enhances the themes of life and love.

Takeaway: Writers should consider how the pacing of their sentences—through short bursts, long flowing lines, or rhythmic repetition—can reflect the emotions they want to evoke in readers.

Repeated phrases can emphasize theme and meaning

Woolf returns to certain phrases (“open the door,” “they’re looking for it”) to highlight the central ideas of searching, discovery, and remembrance.

Takeaway: Writers can use strategic repetition to highlight the most important themes in their story without stating them outright.

Language can mimic movement and sound

The ghost couple’s search is reflected in the way phrases are repeated in a back-and-forth rhythm as if their voices are echoing through the house.

Takeaway: Writers can use repetition and rhythm to make their prose feel musical and create a sensory experience that pulls the reader in.

Repetitive structures can blur time and reality

Woolf’s cyclical sentence patterns dissolve the boundaries between past and present, living and dead.

Takeaway: Writers can experiment with repeating structures to create a sense of timelessness as if past events are still alive within the present moment.

By studying Woolf’s use of repetition and rhythm, writers can see how language can shape and mold the atmosphere of a story, illuminate the themes and central ideas presented, and immerse readers in the world of a story.

How does Woolf’s use of stream-of-consciousness engage the reader?

Woolf’s “A Haunted House” uses stream of consciousness writing to engross the reader in the narrator’s mind and blend and mix external events with internal thoughts in a fluid, dreamlike manner.

Let’s take a look at some examples and explanations of how each use of stream of consciousness keeps the reader engaged:

Opening lines that blend the past and present

“Whatever hour you woke there was a door shutting.”

The sentence suggests an ongoing, timeless action, and immediately engages the reader in a fluid, shifting reality. The absence of a clear subject (“who shut the door?”) pulls the reader into a mystery, encouraging active participation in piecing together the scene.

Fluid shifts between perception and thought

“From room to room they went, hand in hand, lifting here, opening there, making sure—a ghostly couple.”

The sentence structure mimics the movement of the ghosts, drifting effortlessly from physical description (“lifting here, opening there”) to realization (“a ghostly couple”). The lack of a clear boundary between observation and interpretation makes the reader feel like they are experiencing events in real-time, just as the narrator does.

Interweaving inner monologue and action

“‘Here we left it,’ she said. And he added, ‘Oh, but here too!’”

This dialogue is not marked by traditional attributions (no “she said” or “he replied” after every line), making it blend seamlessly into the narration. This technique mirrors the way thoughts and memories naturally surface and keeps the reader engaged by making them feel like they are uncovering meaning rather than being told.

Sensory details that flow like thoughts

“‘Safe, safe, safe,’ the pulse of the house beat softly.”

The repetition and rhythmic structure mimic the flow of thought, reinforcing the house’s presence as a living entity. The shift from dialogue to description without a clear transition captures the way consciousness blends external circumstances with internal emotions.

Nonlinear time and fluid movement

“The window panes reflected apples, reflected roses; all the leaves were green in the glass.”

Instead of stating that the character sees apples and roses, Woolf presents them as reflections, giving the impression of a shifting, layered reality. The poetic rhythm mimics the way thoughts drift from one idea to another and draws the reader into an immersive, almost hypnotic experience.

Rambling of thoughts and narrative

“The treasure buried; the room…”

The fragmented nature of this sentence suggests an incomplete thought, mirroring the way people think in fragments rather than in full, structured sentences. This technique makes the reader lean in and fill in the gaps themselves.

Woolf’s use of stream of consciousness makes “A Haunted House” feel like an experience rather than a conventional narrative. We don’t just read about the ghosts—we feel their presence through the way the story flows.

The blurred perspectives mirror how memory and emotion function in real life— fragmented, subjective. This uncertainty makes the story richer and invites the reader to interpret meaning rather than being given the answers.

A few ideas to consider when using stream-of-consciousness.

Woolf’s mastery of stream of consciousness in “A Haunted House” offers valuable lessons for writers seeking to create immersive, lyrical, and emotionally impactful prose.

Fluidity between internal thoughts and external actions

Woolf seamlessly blends the narrator’s observations, thoughts, and emotions without rigid distinctions between what is seen, remembered, or imagined.

Takeaway for Writers: Avoid over-explaining or separating thought from action with excessive attributions (e.g., “he thought” or “she wondered”). Instead, let inner monologue naturally flow alongside sensory details and dialogue.

Use of fragmentation to mimic thought patterns

Woolf often employs unfinished phrases, sudden shifts, and repetitions to mirror the way thoughts emerge and evolve.

Takeaway for Writers: Don’t be afraid to use incomplete sentences or nonlinear progression to capture the way people actually think. This technique can add authenticity to internal monologue.

Blurring of time and memory

The past and present coexist in Woolf’s narrative and reflects the way memories arise unexpectedly in everyday moments.

Takeaway for Writers: Instead of using rigid flashbacks, try layering past and present within the same moment and allow memories to emerge naturally rather than being formally introduced.

Sensory details as emotional triggers

Instead of stating emotions outright, Woolf evokes them through sensations and subtle cues (e.g., reflections in windows, light flickering).

Takeaway for Writers: Use sensory details—sounds, textures, light, movement—to convey mood and emotion and allow readers to feel the story rather than just understand it intellectually.

Repetition for rhythm and meaning

Phrases like “safe, safe, safe” and “Here we left it. Oh, but here too!” create a hypnotic, poetic effect that highlights the themes of love, loss, and searching.

Takeaway for Writers: Thoughtful repetition can enhance the musicality of prose, emphasize important themes, and create an engaging, almost dreamlike effect in storytelling.

Inviting reader participation

Woolf doesn’t provide all the answers; instead, she allows gaps in meaning and trusts the reader to piece things together like a puzzle.

Takeaway for Writers: Leave space for interpretation. Rather than explaining everything outright, let readers actively engage with the story by connecting ideas and drawing their own conclusions.

Woolf’s stream-of-consciousness technique in “A Haunted House” is not just a stylistic choice—it deepens the emotional and thematic impact of the story. Writers who study her approach can learn to craft prose that flows organically, immerses readers in character consciousness, and evokes profound emotional responses without heavy-handed exposition.

Your Turn: Readers & Writers Workshop

Tools for Readers: Rhythm and Repetition Map

Goal: To help readers identify how repetition and rhythm shape a story’s emotional impact, pacing, and tone and help them recognize how repeated phrases, sentence patterns, and rhythmic structures contribute to storytelling.

How it works:

Step 1: Select a Story or Passage

• Choose a short story, novel excerpt, or personal work where repetition is used.

• Or, re-read “A Haunted House” and focus on sections where Woolf repeats words, phrases, or sentence structures.

Step 2: Identify and Highlight Repetition

• Read the passage carefully and mark or highlight instances where words, phrases, or sentence structures repeat.

  • Look for patterns (use a different color highlighter!):

    • Repeated single words (e.g., safe, safe, safe).

    • Phrases that appear multiple times (They’re looking for it).

    • Sentence structures that echo each other (The pulse of the house beat softly / The heart of the house beats proudly).

Step 3: Analyze the Purpose of the Repetition

Now that you’ve identified repeated phrases, ask yourself:

• How does the repetition influence the story’s tone?

  • Does it make the passage feel poetic, rhythmic, suspenseful, or hypnotic?

• Does the repetition reinforce a key theme?

  • In “A Haunted House,” repeated phrases like safe, safe, safe emphasize love’s endurance beyond death.

• What effect does the rhythm of the sentences create?

  • Does it make the story feel fast and breathless or slow and meditative?

Tools for Writers: Rhythm and Repetition Map

Goal: To help writers map out repeated words, phrases, and sentence structures to ensure their prose flows smoothly, reinforces key themes, and engages readers.

Use this tool when revising a work-in-progress to:

• Identify where repetition strengthens the story and where it becomes redundant.

• Adjust sentence rhythm for better readability and impact.

• Ensure that repeated phrases contribute to mood, tone, or theme.

How it works:

Step 1: Select a Scene or Passage to Revise

• Choose a section of a work in progress where you want to improve rhythm, build emotional impact, or refine repetition.

• Focus on areas that feel too flat, rushed, or disjointed—these may benefit from intentional repetition or rhythmic adjustments.

Step 2: Identify Existing Repetition

• Read your passage aloud. Pay attention to any natural patterns in word choice or sentence structure.

• Highlight or underline repeated words, phrases, or sentence rhythms.

• Ask yourself:

  • Is the repetition intentional or accidental?

  • Does it enhance the tone or slow down the pacing?

  • Does it reinforce a key idea, emotion, or theme?

Step 3: Decide Whether to Refine, Remove, or Reinforce

Now that you’ve identified existing repetition, make decisions about how to adjust it:

• If the repetition strengthens the passage, refine it for maximum impact.

  • Example: Change “She ran. She ran faster. She ran until she couldn’t breathe.” into “She ran. Faster. Breathless.” for a sharper rhythm.

• If the repetition weakens the passage, remove or replace it.

  • Example: If “The door creaked open” is repeated unnecessarily, vary it: “The hinges groaned as the door opened.”

• If repetition could be added for effect, reinforce it with intentional patterning.

  • Example: To mimic a heartbeat or internal fear, repeat a word rhythmically: “Safe. Safe. Safe. But was she?”

Step 4: Adjust Sentence Rhythm for Flow and Impact

• Rewrite the passage with intentional repetition in mind.

• Experiment with sentence length.

  • Short, fragmented sentences create urgency or tension.

  • Longer, flowing sentences create a meditative or dreamlike feel.

• Read it aloud again.

  • Does the new version feel smoother, more engaging, or more powerful?

Example:

Original: She walked down the hallway. The hallway stretched long and dark. The hallway was empty, but she felt watched.

• Problem: Unnecessary repetition of “hallway” without adding much effect.

Revised for Intentional Repetition & Rhythm: She walked. The hallway stretched—long, dark. Empty. Still, she felt watched.

• Why it works:

  • Keeps the repetition for effect but varies sentence rhythm for tension.

  • Breaks up sentence structure to create a more engaging, suspenseful flow.

Writing Prompt to Practice Symbolism, Repetition & Rhythm, and Stream of Consciousness

Step into a house filled with echoes of the past. Walk through a place that feels alive with memory, even if no one else sees it. After reading and studying “A Haunted House” by Virginia Woolf, write a short story of 500-1,000 words using symbolism, repetition and rhythm, and stream of consciousness.

Think about a character who moves into a house where objects seem to whisper, light shifts unnaturally, and time feels unsteady. The house doesn’t appear haunted in the traditional sense. There are no ghosts in the attic, no flickering candles. But something about the atmosphere of the house lingers. Your character could be from a book, movie, TV show, play, your own writing, or completely made up.

As your character lives in this space, they begin to sense something beyond their understanding. Memories that are not their own. Conversations that repeat. A presence felt but not seen.

- What is the house trying to communicate? Is it a message of love, loss, or something else?

- Does your protagonist embrace these oddities, or do they resist and rationalize them away?

- How does the passage of time in the house feel? Linear, looping, or fragmented?

Include the following devices in your story.

Symbolism: Use objects (light, doors, windows, reflections) to represent emotions or memories that linger in the house.

Repetition and Rhythm: Mirror Woolf’s lyrical, almost poetic structure by repeating key phrases or images to create a hypnotic effect.

Stream of Consciousness: Blend internal thoughts with external events and allow your character’s emotions and perceptions to shift within the scene.

I created a Google Doc of the prompt for you to use as you wish, click HERE. Make sure to make a copy.

One More Beat of the Heart

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My Mission

To give aspiring writers the tools and techniques to build their confidence, find their voice, and write damn good stories

I admit it.

When it comes to unreliable narrators, I’m as lost and confused as a parent helping their 10 year-old kid with their math homework.

Even though I struggle to comprehend and understand stories that employ unreliable narration, I’m often thinking about them long after the reading (or viewing) is done.

The first time I encountered an unreliable narrator in fiction, I didn’t recognize it right away. I took the story at face value, only to realize later that the protagonist’s version of events didn’t quite add up. That moment—when certainty slipped into ambiguity—changed the way I read stories. It made me a better, more careful reader.

It also changed the way I wrote stories.

There’s something powerful about stories that challenge our sense of reality, forcing us to question what’s true (recent political climate not withstanding). Ambrose Bierce was a master of this technique, and his short story “A Man with Two Lives” is a perfect example.

Bierce, best known for “An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge,” often blurred the lines between the real and the supernatural, using dark irony and narrative trickery to keep his readers unsettled.

Don’t believe me? Then see for yourself and read the story before reading. HERE’S link to a PDF version of the story.

Spoiler Alert!

“A Man with Two Lives” follows a man named David William Duck, also known as “Dead Duck,” who survives an ambush from “hostile Indians” on his way to Fort C.F. Smith and seemingly dies—not once, but twice—only to return to life again. How? We have have no idea and neither does the narrator. The narrator is just as confused as the reader.

The story plays with expectation, perception, and time and leaves the reader wondering if what they’ve read is possible or if something else is at work. (Hint, hint…something else is definitely at work.)

The story explores how fate and death operate on uncertain rules (does anyone really know the rules?), how reality is not always what it seems, and how a well-structured narrative can manipulate reader expectations.

Bierce accomplishes this through three storytelling techniques:

1. How does Bierce use irony to create a sense of the uncanny?

2. How does Bierce use unreliable narration to blur the lines between reality and the supernatural?

3. How does Bierce use structure and pacing to enhance the story?

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How does Bierce use irony to create a sense of the uncanny?

Irony is central to “A Man with Two Lives,” specifically situational irony, where events unfold in a way that directly contradicts the reader’s expectations. Bierce presents death as absolute, only to repeatedly subvert it, twist it, play with it, and in doing so, creating an eerie and unsettling tone.

Example #1:

“My dear fellow, if you are Dave Duck, I ought to inform you that I buried you two months ago.”

Duck expects relief upon reaching Fort C. F. Smith, but instead, he is told he is already dead. The irony lies in the fact that a living man is confronted with evidence, in the form of a first-hand account, of his own burial.

This revelation unnerves Duck’s and the reader’s reality. The idea that a person can be both alive and dead at the same time creates an eerie, dreamlike quality that defies logic.

Example #2:

“He showed me the clothing, which I resolutely put on; the letters, which I put into my pocket.”

Normally, a person does not retrieve their own belongings from a grave. (Okay, maybe a few people have…) The irony is that Duck is reclaiming possessions that were taken from his supposed corpse.

The image of a man dressing in his own burial clothes evokes the unsettling trope of the undead. It blurs the boundary between life and death and reinforces the story’s supernatural quality.

Example #3:

​​”‘Bill Briscoe, did you really and truly bury the dead body that you found in these togs?’”

Duck himself questions whether he is truly alive or if he is an imposter. The irony is that he, too, is uncertain of his own identity.

This moment of self-doubt deepens the uncanny effect. If the protagonist is not sure he exists, the reader is left to wonder whether the world of the story follows the same rules as reality.

Example #4:

“A week later, I escaped from the guardhouse and got out of the country as fast as I could.”

Instead of being welcomed as a miraculous survivor, Duck is treated as an imposter and imprisoned. The irony is that survival, which should bring safety, instead leads to exile.

This final twist reinforces the idea that Duck does not belong in either the world of the living or the dead. He exists in an uncanny in-between state, a liminal existence, which is what makes the story so haunting.

Bierce’s use of irony in “A Man with Two Lives” forces the reader to confront an unsettling paradox: how can a man be alive when the world insists he is dead? Each moment of irony reinforces a disruption in reality and forces the reader to question whether Duck’s survival is a miracle, a mistake, or something supernatural.

The uncanny arises from this contradiction—Duck should be dead, yet he walks, talks, and even wears the clothes he was supposedly buried in. In this case, he walks like a Duck, talks like a Duck, looks like a Duck, but isn’t a Duck.

This blend of the ordinary (a soldier surviving an ambush) with the impossible (that same soldier having already been buried) is what makes the story linger in my mind long after I’ve finished reading. The lack of explanation amplifies the eeriness and leaves the reader with a feeling of unresolved dread.

Through these ironic twists, Bierce makes the impossible feel disturbing and, yet, logical and reinforces the story’s theme of fate’s unpredictability.

A few takeaways to consider when using irony in your writing.

Establish clear expectations from the start

• Irony relies on subverting and playing with the audience’s expectations.

• Set up a situation where the outcome seems predictable, then twist it in an unexpected way.

Make sure the use of irony serves the story’s theme

• Irony should enhance the deeper meaning of the story, not just be a clever trick.

• Ask: How does this use irony reinforce the emotional impact or ideas of the story?

Use situational irony to create the uncanny

• The best uncanny stories use irony to blur the line between reality and the impossible.

• Consider scenarios where normal logic is flipped and makes the familiar feel strange.

Balance irony with what’s believable

• Irony should feel surprising but not random or forced.

• The world of the story should have its own internal logic that makes the irony feel inevitable, believable.

Use dramatic irony to build tension

• Give readers knowledge that the characters don’t have.

• This creates suspense, humor, or tragedy as the audience anticipates the character’s mistake.

Let irony shape character development

• How a character reacts to an ironic twist can reveal their true nature.

• Do they embrace the absurdity? Fight against fate? Fall apart?

Leave something unexplained

• Sometimes, not giving a full explanation makes the story more powerful.

• The unsettling feeling that something is “off” lingers with the reader.

How does Bierce use unreliable narration to blur the lines between reality and the supernatural?

Bierce’s matter-of-fact narration lends authority to the events of the story—but should we trust it?

The narrator presents extraordinary occurrences as simple fact, yet there are subtle clues that suggest Duck’s experience may not be entirely true.

By using an unreliable narrator, Bierce invites the reader to question everything. Is this a ghost story? A story about mistaken identity? A fable?

The lack of clear answers is precisely what makes the story haunting.

Bierce uses the unreliable narrator to create an eerie, dreamlike uncertainty in “A Man with Two Lives.” The gaps in Duck’s memory, his own doubts about his identity, and the inconsistencies in his story make it impossible to determine whether his experience is supernatural or psychological.

Lapses in memory and delirium - Duck repeatedly acknowledges moments of unconsciousness, hallucination, and missing time. This makes it unclear whether his survival was miraculous or if he imagined key events.

Contradictory accounts - A soldier at Fort C. F. Smith believes Duck is dead and even buried him, yet he stands before him. The story never confirms whether the burial was a mistake or if Duck is something other than human.

A vanished location - Duck tries to return to the site of his “death” but can’t find it, suggesting either a supernatural event or that his mind has altered the memory.

By keeping the truth ambiguous, Bierce transforms a simple survival story into a haunting meditation on identity, fate, and the limits of human perception.

Readers are left wondering: Did Duck really die? Did he return as something else? Or is his mind playing tricks on him?

Example #1:

“It seemed as if I had hardly closed my eyes, though in fact it was near midday, when I was awakened by the report of a rifle…”

Duck loses track of time while hiding, suggesting disorientation or an altered state of awareness. His perception may be unreliable.

Time distortion creates a sense of the uncanny—did something supernatural happen, or was he simply unaware?

Example #2:

“I remember, rather indistinctly, that in my desperation and delirium I sprang out into the open and began firing my repeating rifle without seeing anybody to fire at.”

He admits to delirium, which casts doubt on his memory of events. If he was hallucinating, how much of his story can be trusted?

Duck’s frenzied state suggests a psychological breakdown, but the gap between this moment and his reappearance suggests something unexplainable happened.

Example #3:

“The next thing that I recollect was my pulling myself out of a river just at nightfall.”

There’s a major gap in the narrative—he doesn’t remember what happened between the ambush and waking up. This missing time adds to the mystery and raises questions about whether he truly “died” and returned.

The sudden shift from death to survival makes his story feel ghostly. Did Duck resurrect? Was he transported through supernatural means?

Example #4:

“Bill Briscoe, did you really and truly bury the dead body that you found in these togs?”

Duck questions his own identity, further blurring reality. If he himself doesn’t know whether he’s alive or dead, how can the reader be sure?

This moment forces the reader to confront the impossible: if his body was buried, what is he now? A ghost? A doppelgänger? A man who escaped death?

Example #5:

“Twice I have been back, seeking for that fateful spot in the hills, but unable to find it.”

The place where his supposed death occurred seems to have vanished. This implies either supernatural elements or a completely unreliable recollection of events.

The disappearance of the site suggests reality itself has shifted, as if the event never happened or existed in a space outside normal perception.

How to Use an Unreliable Narrator Effectively in Storytelling

An unreliable narrator can create suspense, deepen themes, and blur the lines between reality and perception. Here are some key strategies to consider when crafting one:

Establish the narrator’s credibility—then undermine it

• Give the reader a reason to trust the narrator at first—perhaps they seem logical, observant, or authoritative.

• Introduce small inconsistencies or oddities that make the reader question whether the narrator is telling the truth.

Use gaps in memory or awareness

• Have the narrator experience blackouts, missing time, or confusion about events.

• Let the reader piece together what really happened from context clues.

Make the narrator’s perceptions unstable

• The narrator might see things others don’t—or fail to see things that should be obvious.

• They might misinterpret situations.

Introduce conflicting testimonies and perspectives

• Other characters can recall events differently than the narrator.

• Readers must then decide who (if anyone) is telling the truth.

Create emotional blindsides and bias or personal stakes

• A narrator might distort the truth to protect themselves, out of guilt, fear, or trauma.

• They may be lying to themselves as much as they are to the reader.

Use a subtle, nuanced writing style that leaves room for interpretation

• Avoid outright stating that the narrator is unreliable—let the reader feel the uncertainty.

• Use ambiguous phrasing, contradictions, and open-ended conclusions. (Easier said then done.)

Make the unreliability support the story’s theme

• If your story explores memory, trauma, fear, or supernatural elements, an unreliable narrator can reinforce those themes.

How does Bierce use structure and pacing to enhance the story?

Bierce’s economy of storytelling is one of his greatest strengths. In just three and a half pages, he presents a full life-and-death cycle…twice!

The pacing is tight and with almost no time for reflection or excess description. This brevity heightens the story’s impact and forces the reader to engage deeply with each moment.

This repetition suggests that his fate is locked, that he is destined to relive these moments. The structure itself becomes a tool for reinforcing the supernatural elements of the story.

Let’s explore how Bierce structured the story.

Frame narrative/story (Story is told by Duck, with an introduction establishing his reputation.)

“Here is the queer story of David William Duck, related by himself. Duck is an old man living in Aurora, Illinois, where he is universally respected.”

Establishes Duck’s credibility before immediately undercutting it with a bizarre, impossible tale. The frame also distances the reader, making them question whether the story is folklore, fact, or something in between.

A linear but fragmented chronology (Events unfold in order, but with gaps in Duck’s memory.)

“I remember, rather indistinctly, that in my desperation and delirium I sprang out into the open and began firing my repeating rifle without seeing anybody to fire at. And I remember no more of that fight.”

The gaps in memory create a sense of mystery and disorientation. Duck’s memory lapses increase tension and blur the line between reality and the supernatural.

Short, urgent sentences in action scenes

“I was awakened by the report of a rifle, the bullet striking the bowlder just above my body.”

“I had not gone a hundred yards before I reached the limit of my run—the head of the gulch.”

The clipped, fast-paced sentences mimic the speed of the action, immersing the reader in Duck’s frantic escape and raising the stakes.

Gradual unraveling of the mystery (Key details are revealed over time.)

“A week later, I escaped from the guardhouse and got out of the country as fast as I could. Twice I have been back, seeking for that fateful spot in the hills, but unable to find it.”

The story unfolds like a mystery, with the biggest reveal (Duck was supposedly buried) happening in the middle. Bierce delays the final conclusion, which allows the suspense to build as Duck attempts (and fails) to make sense of his fate.

Ambiguous ending that resists explanation

“Twice I have been back, seeking for that fateful spot in the hills, but unable to find it.”

The ending of the story leaves the reader questioning the nature of Duck’s existence. By not resolving whether he is a ghost, a survivor, or something else entirely, Bierce heightens the uncanny atmosphere and ensures the story lingers in the reader’s mind.

A few takeaways to consider when structuring your story.

• Use frame narratives to add layers of doubt and distance.

• Vary sentence length and pacing to control tension and immersion.

• Withhold key details until later to create suspense and mystery.

• Use ambiguous endings to leave a lasting impression on the reader.

Your Turn: Readers & Writers Workshop

Tool for Readers: Story Structure Breakdown

Goal: Readers will improve how to identify key moments and analyze how pacing impacts the reader’s experience. It’s especially useful for understanding how a writer builds suspense, delivers surprises, and controls the flow of action.

What it improves:

• Understanding of story structure (exposition, rising action, climax, falling action, resolution)

• Understanding of pacing and how it influences tone and reader engagement

• Identifying narrative shifts and techniques that influence storytelling

How it works:

Step 1: Read the Story and Take Notes

• As you read, highlight or jot down major plot points and key turning points in the story.

• Pay attention to sudden shifts in time, tension, or narrative perspective—these often indicate important structural choices.

• Identify sections where the pacing slows down (for suspense or description) vs. speeds up (for action or climax).

Step 2: Break the Story into Five Structural Stages

Using a chart or a timeline, divide the story into the following sections:

• Exposition - Introduction of characters, setting, and initial conflict

• Rising Action - Events that build tension and complicate the conflict

• Climax - The moment of highest tension, the turning point

• Falling Action - Consequences of the climax, leading to resolution

• Resolution - How the story ends, whether it resolves neatly or ambiguously

Step 3: Analyze Pacing in Each Section

• Look at how long or short each section is. Does the writer use long descriptive passages or quick, sharp sentences?

• Identify places where the pacing slows down for suspense vs. speeds up for action.

• Determine if the pacing aligns with the emotional intensity of the moment—does it heighten or undercut tension?

Step 4: Look for Structural Techniques that Enhance Impact

• Does the story follow a traditional chronological structure, or does it use flashbacks, nonlinear storytelling, or other structural tricks?

• Does the author manipulate time to mislead the reader?

• How does the structure shape the reader’s expectations—and how does the story subvert them?

Step 5: Reflect on the Reader’s Experience

Ask:

• How did the story’s structure influence your expectations?

• Did the pacing affect how you engaged with the story?

• What structural techniques could you apply to your own writing or look for in other stories?

Tool for Writers: Scene Revision Guide

Goal: Ensures each scene moves at the right pace for its purpose—whether it’s an action-packed moment, a suspenseful buildup, or a reflective pause.

What is improves:

• Scene pacing (fast vs. slow sections)

• Narrative tension and engagement

• Sentence and paragraph structure for rhythm and flow

• Alignment between pacing and emotional impact

How it works:

Step 1: Identify the scene’s purpose

Before revising pacing, determine what the scene is trying to accomplish:

• Does it build tension?

• Does it reveal key information?

• Is it an action-driven or emotionally introspective moment?

• Should it slow down to let the reader absorb details, or speed up to create urgency?

Step 2: Highlight sentence and paragraph length

• Short, choppy sentences → Create fast pacing (great for action, urgency, surprise).

• Long, descriptive sentences → Slow pacing (good for suspense, setting mood, reflection).

• One-sentence paragraphs → Can create emphasis, making the reader pause.

  • Your turn:

    • Go through your scene and underline all short vs. long sentences.

    • Identify if your pacing matches the scene’s goal.

Step 3: Check for unnecessary pauses or rushed moments

• Does the scene linger too long on details that slow momentum?

• Is there a moment that needs to breathe, but the pacing rushes past it?

• Where could a sentence break or paragraph shift increase emotional impact?

  • Your Turn:

    • Mark places where the pacing feels too slow or too fast.

    • Decide if details need to be trimmed, expanded, or repositioned.

Step 4: Adjust word choice for pacing

• Action scenes → Use strong, active verbs (“dashed,” “lunged,” “grasped”)

• Suspense scenes → Include sensory details and internal thoughts to slow things down

• Emotional scenes → Use rhythmic, flowing sentences that mimic thought processes

  • Your Turn:

    • Rewrite 2-3 sentences in your scene using stronger verbs or varying sentence lengths.

Step 5: Read the Scene Aloud or Use a Timer

• Reading aloud helps identify awkward pacing—does the rhythm feel natural?

• Time yourself reading action scenes—should they be quicker?

• Pause where a reader might naturally pause—should the pacing slow down or speed up?

  • Your Turn:

    • Record yourself reading the scene aloud.

    • Listen for pacing that feels off, and revise as needed.

Writing Prompt to Practice Hyperbole, Foreshadowing, and Tone

Ready to get lost for awhile? To wake up and not have any idea what’s going on? After reading and studying “A Man with Two Lives,” write a short, short scene using the same devices as Bierce.

Think about a character who wakes up in a familiar place, only to be told they have been dead for months. Your character could be from a book, movie, TV show, play, your own writing, or completely made up.

Every piece of evidence-newspaper obituaries, funeral records, and firsthand witness accounts—confirms their demise. 

Yet, they remember everything about their last moments before “dying” and have no explanation for their return.

- How does your protagonist react to this impossible situation?
- Do they try to uncover the truth, or do they accept their second chance at life?
- Is there a supernatural explanation, a psychological breakdown, or a hidden conspiracy?

Include the following devices in your story.

Unreliable Narrator: Use unreliable narration to blur the line between reality and hallucination.

Irony: Incorporate situational irony—perhaps they find their own grave or meet someone who attended their funeral.

Structure and Pacing: Structure the story with pacing shifts to create 
tension—slowing down in moments of self-doubt and speeding up during revelations.

I created a Google Doc of the prompt for you to use as you wish, click HERE. Make sure to make a copy.

The End…Or Is It?

Fans of the TV show LOST or The Twilight Zone will love this story.

All those fantastical stories play with your sense of perception, of real and fake, of true or false. They capture our imagination and play with our minds in ways that other stories don’t.

Why?

I think it’s because life is inherently illogical, uncanny. Our memories fail us. Our identities change. Nothing makes sense (I see you elected officials). And I think stories that rely on unreliable narration and irony remind us that life is pretty fucked up…and that’s okay. It’s okay to accept the fact that no one has the answer and we’re all just making shit up as we go along.

There is one thing that I know to be true:

Like life, a good story is predictably unpredictable.

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My Mission

To give aspiring writers the tools and techniques to build their confidence, find their voice, and write damn good stories

Writing stories is hard. Writing funny stories is even harder. Writing funny stories that are suspenseful and have a twist ending are stupidly difficult.

And I suck at writing all three.

But you know who doesn’t? Guy de Maupassant.

Yeah, I bet you haven’t heard that name in a long time (if at all).

I remember when I was maybe 10 years old I checked out a book of collected Maupassant stories. I remember stumbling upon “An Uncomfortable Bed” by Guy de Maupassant, a short story that perfectly balances humor, suspense, and irony.

Maupassant’s story gave me new insight into the mechanics of storytelling and how hyperbole or a subtle bit of foreshadowing can keep readers hooked until the final line.

Oh, what’s that? You said you’ve never read Maupassant? Well you’re in luck. HERE’S link to a PDF version of the story. Go ahead, do yourself a favor and put this post to the side and read the story.

Before we proceed…

If you’ve read this far and STILL haven’t read “An Uncomfortable Bed” then I’ve got you, chief. I summarized the story for you. You’re welcome.

In “An Uncomfortable Bed,” Maupassant explores how paranoia can be both funny and revealing about human nature. The story follows a narrator, suspicious of his friends’ intentions during a weekend getaway. Convinced they plan to play a practical joke on him, he works himself into such a state of vigilance that he becomes the architect of his own downfall. In an ironic twist, his friends were never plotting against him—his imagination was the real prankster all along.

This story shows how an intentional use of hyperbole can heighten humor, how subtle foreshadowing builds tension, and how tonal shifts keeps readers engaged.

Let’s explore how Maupassant uses all three to (chef’s kiss) perfection.

• How does Maupassant use hyperbole to heighten the humor and suspense?

• How does Maupassant use foreshadowing to build tension and create a satisfying twist ending?

• How does Maupassant use shifts in tone to keep readers engaged?

If you’ve read my previous posts in this series, you’ll remember that I like to use a lot of charts that show the textual evidence with some brief explanations. It’s the teacher in me, I guess.

This time I’m doing something a little different. We’re still going to answer the three questions above, but I ditched the charts and decided to list out the evidence and explanations. Hopefully the change makes a smoother, easier read.

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How does Maupassant use hyperbole to heighten the humor and suspense?

One of the most noticeable techniques in “An Uncomfortable Bed” is hyperbole. Maupassant exaggerates the narrator’s paranoia to absurd levels, amplifying both the humor and the tension.

Example #1:

“They fired off rifles, embraced me, made much of me, as if they expected to have great fun at my expense.”

The exaggerated reaction—firing rifles and excessive affection—creates a sense of paranoia. This over-the-top welcome immediately puts the protagonist (and the reader) on edge, setting the stage for humor and suspicion.

Example #2:

“During the dinner the mirth was excessive, exaggerated, in fact.”

The description of laughter as “excessive” and “exaggerated” heightens the protagonist’s anxiety. By making the laughter seem unnatural, Maupassant increases suspense—are they laughing at him or plotting against him?

Example #3:

“I scented a practical joke in the air, as a dog scents game.”

The simile comparing the narrator’s awareness to a hunting dog is an exaggeration of his paranoia. This hyperbolic comparison adds humor by making his suspicion seem almost absurd, while also reinforcing his growing unease.

Example #4:

“I searched in my memory for all the practical jokes of which I ever had experience.”

The idea that he recalls every prank he’s ever experienced is an exaggeration of his fear. This moment of self-reflection humorously shows how deeply he believes he is being set up.

Example #5:

“I must have been in a deep sleep for a long time, but all of a sudden I was awakened with a start by the fall of a heavy body tumbling right on top of my own, and, at the same time, I received on my face, on my neck, and on my chest a burning liquid which made me utter a howl of pain.”

The dramatic description of being crushed by a “heavy body” and covered in a “burning liquid” exaggerates the chaos of the situation. This moment is both suspenseful and comedic—the protagonist’s worst fears have seemingly come true, but the reality (a valet spilling tea) is hilariously mundane.

Example #6:

“Oh, how they all laughed that day!”

The phrase suggests an extreme level of laughter, likely more than necessary. The hyperbole in this final line emphasizes how the protagonist, despite all his precautions, became the punchline of his own joke.

These exaggerations serve two purposes. First, they immerse us in the narrator’s mindset and makes his reactions feel both absurd and believable. Second, they set the stage for the story’s ironic twist ending, in which his paranoia—not his friends—becomes the source of humiliation.

For writers, Maupassant’s use of hyperbole demonstrates how exaggeration can elevate mundane emotions, like suspicion or anxiety, into memorable and engaging moments. This technique supports the theme by showing how the narrator’s inflated sense of danger blinds him to reality.

How does Maupassant use foreshadowing to build tension and create a satisfying twist ending?

Foreshadowing is another technique Maupassant uses to great effect. He plants subtle clues early in the story that build tension and prepare readers for the twist ending.

Example #1:

“Some of my friends had arrived before me, and I was at once struck by a peculiar attitude, something subtle and sly in their manner.”

The narrator’s immediate suspicion suggests that a prank is being planned, making the reader anticipate a trick. Maupassant establishes unease early on, making the reader question what the joke will be. This builds tension and prepares us for the twist.

Example #2:

“They seemed to have suppressed an unnatural and mischievous laugh.”

The idea of suppressed laughter hints that something amusing (to the friends, at least) is going to happen at the narrator’s expense. The tension escalates as the narrator feels he is being deceived and makes us share in his paranoia.

Example #3:

“During the dinner the mirth was excessive, exaggerated, in fact. I thought to myself: ‘Here are people who have some special reason for laughing so much.’”

The forced laughter suggests that the guests are hiding something, reinforcing the narrator’s belief that a terrible prank is coming. This moment makes the reader as anxious as the narrator, wondering when the joke will happen.

Example #4:

“I scented a practical joke in the air, as a dog scents game.”

The narrator’s heightened awareness foreshadows that he will take extreme measures to avoid being tricked—possibly leading to unintended consequences. This line is key because it suggests that the protagonist’s paranoia may drive the outcome, which sets up the ironic twist.

Example #5:

“I decided to go to bed at once in order to avoid their tricks.”

The narrator’s determination to outsmart his friends suggests that his attempt to avoid the prank will backfire. The reader anticipates that the narrator’s cautiousness will somehow contribute to the humor of the situation. This behavior by the narrator makes the twist even more satisfying.

Example #6:

“I did not even take off my clothes, but got into bed with great precaution, like a man who is laying a mine.”

His extreme caution foreshadows that something will happen despite—or because of—his efforts. The image of “laying a mine” suggests an inevitable explosion and makes the reader eager to see how his plan will unravel.

Example #7:

“I must have been in a deep sleep for a long time, but all of a sudden I was awakened with a start by the fall of a heavy body tumbling right on top of my own.”

The unexpected fall is the culmination of all the previous hints—the narrator has trapped himself in his own imagined prank. The twist is satisfying because the reader has been conditioned to expect a joke, but the real joke is that the narrator was never in danger of being pranked at all.

Maupassant layers foreshadowing throughout the story to heighten suspense. By seeding the idea of a prank early on, he keeps readers on edge, wondering what will happen. The final twist is satisfying because the clues were there all along—just misinterpreted by both the narrator and the reader.

These actions, while seemingly rational at first, escalate into obsessive behaviors, hinting that the real conflict lies within the narrator’s mind. By the time we reach the climax—when the narrator leaps into bed and inadvertently humiliates himself—it feels both surprising and inevitable.

Foreshadowing enhances the theme by reinforcing the idea that our fears often stem from our own imaginations rather than external threats. For writers, it’s a reminder to leave breadcrumbs for readers, ensuring the payoff feels earned.

How does Maupassant use shifts in tone to keep readers engaged?

Tone is perhaps the most effective story element Maupassant uses in “An Uncomfortable Bed.” Maupassant shifts between humor and suspense. This shift in tone keeps readers on edge. The narrator’s heightened awareness and exaggerated descriptions create a comedic tone, but beneath the humor lies genuine tension: What if the narrator is right?

Example #1:

“Some of my friends had arrived before me, and I was at once struck by a peculiar attitude, something subtle and sly in their manner.”

Maupassant introduces an undercurrent of uneasiness and suspicion early on, making readers feel the narrator’s apprehension and question what’s really happening.

Example #2:

“They seemed to have suppressed an unnatural and mischievous laugh.”

The playful atmosphere suggests fun among friends, but the idea of “suppressed laughter” hints at something hidden, building intrigue. The tone is playful yet ominous.

Example #3:

“During the dinner the mirth was excessive, exaggerated, in fact. I thought to myself: ‘Here are people who have some special reason for laughing so much.’”

The excessive laughter makes the narrator’s suspicions grow, shifting the tone toward extreme paranoia, which keeps readers both amused and uncertain.

Example #4:

“I scented a practical joke in the air, as a dog scents game.”

The narrator’s self-importance and vigilance inject humor. The reader laughs at the narrator’s certainty that he’s the target of a prank.

Example #5:

“I decided to go to bed at once in order to avoid their tricks.

The tone shifts as the narrator takes action, reinforcing his paranoia. His cautiousness makes readers suspect that his plan will backfire.

Example #6:

“I did not even take off my clothes, but got into bed with great precaution, like a man who is laying a mine.”

This line heightens tension through exaggerated military imagery. The reader anticipate something explosive—both figuratively and literally—will happen.

Example #7:

“I must have been in a deep sleep for a long time, but all of a sudden I was awakened with a start by the fall of a heavy body tumbling right on top of my own.”

The abrupt shift from careful to unexpected disaster creates a comedic contrast. The humor lies in the irony that the narrator, so focused on avoiding a prank, has caused his own mishap.

Example #8:

“I was smothered beneath a man, who was struggling desperately, was choking me with his weight, and whose convulsive movements I could not overcome.”

The exaggerated struggle makes the scene both suspenseful and ridiculous. The reader is kept engaged while heading toward the final realization.

Example #9:

“It was a nightmare! What was the matter? Had they come to attack me? I was about to scream when I recognized the voice of my friend, the marquis, who was also groaning under a mass of blankets.”

The narrator’s momentary panic gives way to absurdity as he realizes the “attack” is just his friend tangled in the blankets. The humor is increased because the entire disaster was self-inflicted.

Example #10:

“When daylight came at last, I noticed at once the nature of my disaster. I had, in getting into bed, pulled over me, with my bedclothes, the side curtains of my canopy, and had completely entangled myself in them.”

The final tone is ironic. The narrator, so convinced he was outsmarting his friends, was never in danger—his own fear and paranoia caused his downfall.

The shifts in tone mirrors the story’s theme: the absurdity of human paranoia. By shifting between humor and genuine unease, Maupassant keeps readers guessing—and laughing—until the final twist. For writers, tone is a powerful tool for keeping readers emotionally invested, even in a short piece.

Your Turn: Readers & Writers Workshop

Tool for Readers: The Hyperbole Detector

Goal: To help readers analyze hyperbole in a short story or novel with a focus on how it affects tone, character, and engagement.

How it works:

1. Find a passage with possible uses of hyperbole

   1. Look for extreme emotions, actions, or exaggerated descriptions.

   2. Ask: Is this literally possible? If not, it might be hyperbole.

2. Analyze the effect

   1. What is the author’s purpose in using hyperbole?

      1. Humor? Making something absurdly exaggerated?

      2. Suspense? Making something seem too intense to be real?

      3. Characterization? Revealing how a character perceives the world?

3. Test for impact

   1. Imagine the sentence without hyperbole—does it lose impact?

   2. Does the exaggeration make the moment funnier, scarier, or more intense?

Example:

Tool for Writers: The Hyperbole Revision Chart

Goal: To ​​helps writers intentionally add or refine hyperbole in their stories to enhance humor, suspense, or character voice.

How it works:

1. Find a scene in a current work in progress that feels flat and needs more energy

   1. Identify a section in your work-in-progress (WIP) that feels flat or lacks impact.

   2. Ask: Does this moment need more drama, humor, or heightened emotion?

2. Determine the purpose of the use of hyperbole

   1. Is it for humor, suspense, character voice, or dramatic emphasis?

3. Revise a few sentences using hyperbole

   1. Exaggerate one or more elements:

      1. Emotions: Overstate how a character reacts.

      2. Actions: Make a reaction over-the-top.

      3. Descriptions: Make an object/place seem ridiculously big, scary, or beautiful.

4. Review/test your revision

   1. Read your sentence aloud—does it enhance the tone or feel forced?

   2. Share it with a writing partner/group and ask: What is your reaction to this? Does this make you laugh? Does it build tension?

Example:

Writing Prompt to Practice Hyperbole, Foreshadowing, and Tone

It’s time for your character (or you?) to finally put pen to paper, finger to keyboard, and confront their inner demons and face their fears .After reading and studying “An Uncomfortable Bead” write a short, short scene using the same devices as Maupassant.

The essence of Maupassant's story is that the narrator's anxiety creates a sense of fear mixed with humor about what COULD happen. So, let's play with that concept and see if we can take it one step further.

Think about a character who is about to face their greatest fear. Maybe it's skydiving to combat a fear of heights? Maybe it's handling a six-foot boa to overcome their fear of snakes? Maybe it's giving a speech in front of 1,000 people to address their fear of public speaking.

Write a story of 1,000 words or less exploring the thoughts and sensations your character thinks, feels, or believes what will happen after facing a fear. (Imagine what your character's anxiety will have to say about handling a snake?)

Include the following devices in your story.

Hyperbole: Exaggerate your character’s thought process. How do they convince themselves of a danger that may not exist? How does their inner monologue spiral into absurdity?

Foreshadowing: Plant subtle clues throughout the story. Does the setting hint at their mistake? Do other characters unintentionally mislead them?

Shifts in tone: Begin with confidence, shift to suspicion, then spiral into self-inflicted disaster—whether humorous, tragic, or both.

Add a moment of realization: End with the character’s moment of understanding. Was the world ever against them, or were they their own worst enemy all along?

I created a Google Doc of the prompt for you to use as you wish, click HERE. Make sure to make a copy.

A Few Final Thoughts

What strikes me most about Maupassant’s “An Uncomfortable Bed” is how it accurately captures the craziness that runs rampant in our mind and imagination when we anticipate that something bad will happen.

There’s a primal sense to that understanding that survival as a human (both physically and psychologically) is dependent on assuming the worst of a person or situation.

As an artist or creative individual, I recognize the behaviors and thoughts of Maupassant’s narrator…especially when I’m writing on this platform.

But…

Unlike Maupassant’s narrator, I must overcome the self-doubt that follows anxiety like a dog in heat. I can only do what I can and try to get a little better each day.

Which, for a writer…

Studying “An Uncomfortable Bed” and playing around with these tools, writers can learn to craft stories that balance humor and suspense, surprise and inevitability.

Whether you’re exaggerating for comedic effect, planting subtle clues, or experimenting with tonal shifts, Maupassant offers a masterclass in short fiction.

Now, it’s your turn to experiment. Let me know in the comments which prompt you tackled or how you plan to revise your current work in progress!

Help Spread the Word

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Option #1: Leave a comment below about what you like from this newsletter and any tips for making it more helpful.

Option #2: Click on the Subscribe button:

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Option #3: Share this newsletter to a friend who writes fiction.

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My Mission

To give aspiring writers the tools and techniques to build their confidence, find their voice, and write damn good stories.

The night is when the writer comes out to play.

There’s a distinct kind of stillness that descends on a writer late at night, the kind where distractions fade, and the world feels suspended in time. It’s in these moments, staring out at a darkened sky or hearing the rustle of leaves, that I’ve often found myself reading, studying, and thinking about stories like Kate Chopin’s “The Night Came Slowly.”

Chopin’s brief (it’s about 500 words) yet profound story reminds me why I write: to capture fleeting feelings, to explore the tensions between humanity and solitude, and to seek meaning in the smallest moments.

Chopin, known for her nuanced portrayals of women’s inner lives and their complex relationships with society, delivers a deeply introspective and atmospheric story in “The Night Came Slowly.”

As always, before reading on I suggest you take a few minutes to read the story. It’s a very short story, and I’m confident you’ll be amazed by how impactful and poetic it is. HERE is a link to a PDF of the story.

So…what’s the story about?

The story focuses on a narrator who, disillusioned with humanity, finds solace in the quiet, mysterious beauty of the natural world. Through her musings, the story explores themes of alienation, the search for meaning, and the healing power of nature. It shows how solitude can provide clarity, how nature can soothe an aching soul, and how even a fleeting night can carry profound emotional weight.

The story’s strength lies in its beautiful use of three specific techniques: personification, imagery, and tone. Together, these elements create a vivid, emotionally deep experience that invites readers to slow down and connect with the narrator’s world.

As writers, we can study Chopin’s approach to see how she uses these tools to craft a story that lingers in the mind long after it’s read.

To guide the analysis, let’s frame our discussion using the following questions:

1. How does Chopin use personification to bring nature to life and develop the theme(s)?

2. How does Chopin use imagery to create the mood of the story?

3. How does Chopin use tone to enhance the emotions of the story?

Let’s cut to the chase and get to the charts, shall we?

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How does Chopin use personification to bring nature to life and develop the theme(s)?

Personification is one of the most striking techniques in Chopin’s story. Nature becomes a living, breathing character. By assigning human qualities to elements like the night, wind, and stars, Chopin creates an intimate connection between the narrator and her environment.

Through these moments, Chopin transforms the natural world into a source of companionship and comfort. Chopin’s use of personification supports the story’s theme by emphasizing the narrator’s connection to nature as a refuge from the chaos of human interaction. Readers can’t help but feel the narrator’s longing for something greater than the fleeting and disappointing experiences of human interaction.

A few ideas to consider:

Give nature purpose, intention and emotion - Instead of describing the setting, allow elements of nature to “act” or “behave” with purpose.

• Example: Rather than saying “the wind blew through the trees,” try “the wind whispered secrets through the trees, urging them to dance.”

Use personification to reflect a character’s emotions - Let the environment mirror or contrast the protagonist’s state of mind.

• Example: If a character feels lonely, describe the moon as “a watchful eye in the dark” or if they are feeling restless, “the river churned in quiet frustration.”

Make the natural world feel like a character - Treat nature as an active force with its own personality—gentle, menacing, comforting, or mysterious.

• Example: “The night crept forward, wrapping the town in its inky embrace.” This makes night feel alive and purposeful.

Use personification to create mood - Soft, comforting personification can create a peaceful mood, while eerie or aggressive personification can build tension.

• Example: “The storm roared its discontent, slamming rain against the windows,” vs. “The morning sun stretched its golden arms, warming the quiet streets.”

Contrast a personified depiction of nature with human behavior - Highlight how nature acts in contrast to people’s flaws, wisdom, or ignorance.

• Example: Chopin’s katydids “do not chatter like people”—they are calm and wise, unlike the intrusive human world.

Use personification to reinforce themes - If your story explores solitude and loneliness, have the night “gently press its silence” around the character. If the theme is transformation, describe dawn as “peeling back the night, layer by layer, revealing the world anew.”

As writers, we can use personification to deepen emotional resonance in our stories. By animating the setting, we invite readers to experience it as vividly as the characters do, building a bridge between their emotions and the story’s world.

How does Chopin use imagery to create the mood of the story?

Chopin’s lush, sensory descriptions pull the reader into the narrator’s world and makes the night come alive. Imagery is an essential device used in the story to create a setting that feels both serene and mysterious.

These descriptions layer the setting with texture and mood. The imagery not only paints a vivid picture but also mirrors the narrator’s emotional state—calm, reflective, and yearning for connection. Each sensory detail draws the reader deeper into the narrator’s world, creating a shared sense of solace and wonder.

A few ideas to consider:

Use sensory details to create mood - Chopin’s descriptions of the night (“creeping, creeping stealthily”) establish a mysterious, meditative mood. Writers could choose words that evoke specific emotions—e.g., dark, whispering forests for suspense or golden, sun-drenched fields for warmth.

Blend setting with character emotions - The narrator’s growing detachment from humanity is reflected in the imagery of nature surrounding her. Writers can mirror a character’s inner world through descriptions of their surroundings, making the setting an extension of their emotional state.

Show change through shifting imagery - As night fully takes over, the world transforms (“blended in one black mass”). Writers can use evolving imagery to reflect changes in time, mood, or character development—e.g., a bright morning turning into a stormy afternoon paralleling rising conflict.

Contrast nature with human-made elements - Chopin’s contrast between peaceful nature and the harsh, unattractive description of the Bible class teacher emphasizes the theme of alienation. Writers can use contrasting imagery (e.g., a noisy, polluted city vs. a quiet, open field) to highlight conflict between opposing forces.

Use repetition and rhythm to make imagery immersive - The repeated “creeping, creeping” in the story mimics the slow movement of the night, drawing the reader into the experience. Writers can use rhythm, repetition, or alliteration to reinforce mood and motion.

Personify elements of nature to create intimacy - Chopin gives the night agency (“thinking I did not notice”), making it feel alive. Writers can give nature or objects human-like qualities to make their worlds feel more dynamic and emotionally resonant.

Use specific and unexpected comparisons - The wind rippling the maple leaves like “little warm love thrills” is a unique and sensual description. Writers should aim for fresh, evocative metaphors and similes rather than common ones to make their imagery more impactful.

For writers, imagery is a powerful tool for drawing readers into a scene. By engaging the senses, we can evoke emotions and build an atmosphere that stays with the reader and make the story more vivid and memorable.

How does Chopin use tone to enhance the emotions of the story?

The reflective and somewhat bitter tone of “The Night Came Slowly” sets the emotional foundation of the story. Chopin’s narrator speaks with a mix of quietness and frustration. The narrator has a voice that is both contemplative and raw.

Chopin’s use of tone enhances and illuminates the theme of alienation by making the narrator’s retreat into nature feel both poignant and inevitable. Her disconnection from humanity and connection to the natural world are brought to life through her reflections and allows readers to feel her emotional struggles as if they were their own.

A few ideas to consider:

Make sure tone aligns with characters’ emotions - Chopin’s shifting tone mirrors the narrator’s emotional journey—from detachment to reverence to frustration.

• Tip for writers: Adjust the tone as your character’s emotions evolve to create a dynamic, immersive experience.

Contrast tones for emotional impact - The peaceful, poetic descriptions of nature contrast with the harsh, bitter tone used for humans.

• Tip for writers: Use tone shifts to emphasize contrasts—such as hope vs. despair, beauty vs. ugliness, or solitude vs. intrusion.

Use tone to reinforce theme(s) - Chopin’s tone reinforces the theme of nature’s wisdom vs. human stupidity.

• Tip for writers: Let your tone reflect the deeper meaning of your story. Ask: What emotion best conveys my theme?

Let word choice and syntax shape tone - Chopin’s word choices—“stealing,” “caressing,” “detestable”—intensify tone. Her use of syntax moves between flowing and abrupt to reflect mood.

• Tip for writers: Experiment with descriptive vs. blunt language and long vs. short sentences to sharpen your story’s tone.

Maintain a consistent tone or deliberately shift tone throughout - While Chopin shifts tone, the overall mood remains cohesive—meditative and melancholic.

• Tip for writers: Avoid jarring, unintentional tone shifts unless they serve a purpose. Be mindful of how tone is used throughout the story.

Writers can use tone to guide readers through a story’s emotional landscape. By carefully choosing words and sentence rhythms, we can craft a voice that resonates with the audience and aligns with the story’s theme, creating a powerful emotional impact.

Your Turn: Readers & Writers Workshop

Tool for Readers: Imagery Mapping Exercise

Goal: Readers will see how sensory details contribute to the emotional impact and theme(s) of the story.

How It Works:

1. Select a passage or short story – Choose a section rich in imagery (e.g., The Night Came Slowly by Kate Chopin).

2. Create an Imagery Map – Use a graphic organizer to categorize and analyze the imagery by sense (sight, sound, touch, taste, smell).

3. Identify Mood & Theme Connections – Reflect on how the imagery shapes the story’s mood and contributes to its themes.

4. Synthesize Patterns – Identify dominant patterns (e.g., dark vs. light, movement vs. stillness) and discuss how they reinforce the narrative’s emotional impact.

Example Application using “The Night Came Slowly”

Tool for Writers: The Tone Shift Experiment (for practice and for revising a work-in-progress)

Goal: Writers learn how subtle shifts in language shape a reader’s emotional response to the story.

How It Works:

For practice:

1. Start with a short, neutral scene (or use a prompt).

2. Rewrite the scene in at least three different tones (e.g., melancholic, hopeful, suspenseful).

3. Compare the versions to see how changes in word choice, sentence structure, and imagery influence emotional impact.

Example:

Neutral: The night came, and the wind moved through the trees.

Melancholic: The night sank over the land, the wind sighing through the trees like a weary traveler.

Ominous: The night crawled in, shadows twisting as the wind whispered secrets through the trees.

Hopeful: The night unfurled softly, the wind carrying the scent of blooming jasmine through the trees.

As a tool for revision:

1. Select a passage from a work-in-progress where tone could be stronger or more intentional.

2. Rewrite the passage in 2-3 different tones.

3. Read each version aloud and analyze which tone best serves the story’s purpose.

4. Revise the passage accordingly.

Example:

Original (Neutral): She walked through the empty house, her footsteps echoing in the halls.

Version 1 (Nostalgic): She moved through the house slowly, trailing her fingers over the worn banister, remembering laughter that once filled these halls.

Version 2 (Eerie): She crept through the house, each footstep swallowed by the silence, shadows lurking in the corners.

Version 3 (Melancholic): She wandered the house, the echoes of her footsteps a lonely reminder of all that had been lost.

Writing Prompt to Practice Personification, Imagery, and Tone

Grab a notebook and a flashlight and take a long walk into the night. Sit down near a tree and let your imagination commune with your surroundings. After reading and studying “The Night Came Slowly,” write a short, short scene using the same devices as Chopin.

Think about your favorite character from a book, TV show, movie, etc. Your character has grown weary of people—their noise, their expectations, their shallow words. One evening, they retreat into solitude to find comfort in the quiet of the night. As they sit beneath a tree, on a porch, or by an open window, they begin to sense the world shifting around them. The night is not empty. It is alive, watching, whispering. The wind carries secrets, the stars blink knowingly, and the shadows seem to listen. As they lose themselves in this stillness, their thoughts drift toward something unresolved—a question, a regret, a longing. They do not speak, but the night answers.

Write a story of 1,000 words or less where your character’s solitude deepens their understanding of themselves or the world around them.

Include the following devices in your story.

Personification: Let nature speak. How does the night, the wind, or the stars communicate with your character? Do they offer comfort, challenge them, or reveal something unexpected?

Imagery: Use rich sensory details to immerse the reader in the night’s presence. How does the darkness feel? What sounds, scents, or sensations fill the air?

Tone: Maintain a reflective, melancholic, or mysterious tone to enhance the character’s emotional state.

I created a Google Doc of the prompt for you to use as you wish, click HERE. Make sure to make a copy.

As Night Turns Into Day (Final Thoughts)

When I sat down to read Chopin’s “The Night Came Slowly” I was immediately drawn into the narrator’s world. I felt like I was sitting next to the narrator, listening to and experiencing their inner thoughts and feelings.

I also thought about Hawthorne’s “The Haunted Mind” while reading Chopin. How two incredible writers explore the mind’s relationship to the external world and inner life of a character. And how both writers use language to utter perfection.

Chopin’s “The Night Came Slowly” is a meditative, quiet story that writers should study regularly. It’s a model example of craft and technique at the highest level. As Chopin’s narrator looses her interest in human connection, I found myself being drawn closer to it.

Funny how that works.

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My Mission

To give aspiring writers the tools and techniques to build their confidence, find their voice, and write damn good stories.

I’m going to take a wild guess and say that when you first saw the name Nathaniel Hawthorne you thought of those crappy high school essays about The Scarlet Letter, or maybe you remember slogging through a horrible lesson of “The Minister’s Black Veil.” Ah, how high school English does a fantabulous job utterly sucking the marrow of life from great works.

Well, you’re in for a doozy of a treat because I’m going to attempt to make a weird, obscure, ridiculously difficult to read meditative short story called “The Haunted Mind” seem fun, cool, and a great model to write some cool shit.

Wish me luck!

As always, before reading on I suggest you take a few minutes to read the story. In fact, with this one you probably want to read it and re-read it a few times to figure out what the hell is going on. HERE is a link to a PDF of the story.

Summary of “The Haunted Mind”

Published in 1835, “The Haunted Mind” thrusts readers from the first sentence of the story into the surreal moments between sleep and being awake, capturing the fragmented, absurd musings of a narrator suspended in this liminal space. (I can confirm there was no use of opioids or other stimulants while reading this story and writing about it.)

The story explores the connection between memory and the subconscious and the susceptibility of the human spirit to the burdensome weight of regret.

Hawthorne’s densely layered prose, rich imagery, and meditative tone help to create an inner monologue spoken by an unnamed character that feels strangely personal and eerily universal.

Let’s get to the nitty-gritty

Hawthorne’s story investigates the amorphous boundary between the physical world and the mind, showing how our thoughts can be as haunting as our reality. Hawthorne fashions a inner monologue that invites (or forces?) readers to consider the intersections of fear, memory, and imagination.

For readers and writers, Hawthorne’s story is a treasure trove of techniques worth studying. Below are three questions I’m using to guide my analysis.

1. How does Hawthorne use metaphor to create an emotional experience for the reader?

2. How does Hawthorne use imagery to immerse readers in the story’s mood?

3. How does Hawthorne use a reflective and meditative tone to illuminate the story’s themes?

If you’ve read my previous What Makes This Short Story Great? on Chekhov’s “A Country Cottage,” then you know I LOVE charts. I’m an educator and former high school English teacher (not the kind that butchered teaching Hawthorne). There’s nothing that organizes my thoughts better than a good ol’ fashioned three-column chart.

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How does Hawthorne use metaphor to create an emotional experience for the reader?

Metaphor is a cornerstone of Hawthorne’s writing in “The Haunted Mind.” Through comparisons that illuminate abstract ideas, he creates sentences that are both beautiful and thought-provoking.

And be gracious with yourself. Hawthorne’s writing is a bit denser than you might think. His use of metaphors isn’t as overt as you might be used to in other other works.

Take your time while reading.

A few ideas to consider:

Blending physical and emotional worlds: Hawthorne’s metaphors often use tangible item (e.g., snow, bells) with intangible concepts (e.g., memory, remorse) that create layered imagery that resonates emotionally.

Personification of abstract ideas: By giving emotions and states of being human-like qualities, Hawthorne makes them relatable and vivid. His interesting use of personification intensifies the reader’s connection to the narrator’s experience.

Existential undertones: Many metaphors hint at mortality, the passage of time, and the haunting nature of memory and reinforces the story’s themes of deep introspection and the fragility of human life.

These metaphors are not mere flourishes of language; they serve the story’s theme. By blending the external world with the inner mind, Hawthorne shows how thoughts and emotions take on a life of their own in moments of stillness. The metaphors deepen the narrative’s reflective tone, urging readers to consider their own “haunted” moments.

For writers, studying Hawthorne’s use of metaphor reveals how abstract ideas—like memory, remorse, or fear—can be grounded in vivid, tangible objects and imagery to evoke emotion and illuminate the story’s themes and ideas.

How does Hawthorne use imagery to immerse readers in the story’s mood?

Imagery is another defining feature of “The Haunted Mind.” Hawthorne crafts vivid descriptions that appeal to all the senses and immerses readers in the story’s dream-like setting.

A few ideas to consider:

Sensory details: Hawthorne uses vivid visuals, sounds, and tactile details to create a multi-sensory experience for the reader. This makes the setting feel alive.

Personification and symbolism: Natural elements like snow and wind are imbued with human and even spiritual qualities. Readers are drawn into a world where the boundaries between the physical and metaphysical disappear. It reminds me a TON of Donne.

Atmospheric balance: The imagery alternates between eerie, ghostly descriptions and serene, almost enchanting visuals. Readers are engaged in the interplay between beauty and dread.

Hawthorne’s use of imagery serves the story’s meditative tone. The detailed descriptions create a physical sense of place while reflecting the narrator’s contemplation. The quiet, “frost-covered” world mirrors the stillness of the mind, while the “voice of iron” hints at the passage of time. The sensory experience is tied to the story’s themes of mortality and memory.

Writers can use imagery like Hawthorne’s to build atmosphere and immerse readers in a world that feels alive.

How does Hawthorne use a reflective and meditative tone to illuminate the story’s themes?

Hawthorne’s reflective tone is perhaps the most effective element of “The Haunted Mind.” The narrator’s voice is meditative, moving effortlessly, almost ethereally, between calm observation and moments of existential dread.

A few ideas to consider:

Memory as a haunting presence – Hawthorne’s melancholic and somber tone shows memory as both unavoidable and a source of reflection. The narrator illustrates how past experiences linger like ghosts in the mind.

• The inevitability of mortality – Through a philosophical and eerie tone, the narrator urges us to confront the fleeting nature of life. The imagery of funeral trains and buried regrets reinforces the idea that time moves forward regardless of human desires.

• The emotional weight of reflection – The haunting and lyrical aspects of the story immerse the reader in a dreamlike meditation on loss, regret, and the passage of time. Hawthorne’s shifting tone, from poetic to horror, mirrors the unpredictable nature of the mind.

The various uses of tone in “The Haunted Mind” pulls readers into the narrator’s fragmented thoughts, creating a strange sense of intimacy. It also reflects the story’s themes and ideas: the interplay between the conscious and subconscious mind.

For writers, studying tone in “The Haunted Mind” shows how a consistent narrative voice can unify disparate, almost unrelated, ideas and emotions, guiding readers through complex themes with clarity and elegance.

Your Turn: Readers & Writers Workshop

Hawthorne’s “The Haunted Mind” is a masterclass in craft. By studying and practicing his use of metaphor, imagery, and tone, writers can enhance their own stories while readers gain a deeper appreciation for his writing.

Tool for Readers: Tone Observation Log

Goal: To help readers recognize and understand tonal shifts in a story and how those shifts add complexity.

How It Works:

Select another short story by Hawthorne or re-read “The Haunted Mind” and use the following strategy while reading.

1. Create a four-column chart (like the example below).

2. Identify sections or passages in the story where the tone is noticeable.

3. Identify key words or phrases in the selected text.

4. How does the tone make the reader feel or what does it add to the story?

5. Does the tone change? If so, how?

Sample Four Column Chart:

Example Application: Below is a sample completed chart using the first paragraph of “The Haunted Mind.”

How the Tool Helps Readers:

• Improves awareness of tone: Encourages readers to actively identify and label tones in specific sections, pushing the reader to use their interpretive skills.

• Highlights emotional impact: Provides space to analyze how tone affects mood, atmosphere, and reader experience/reactions/emotions.

• Tracks shifts: Identifies when and why tonal shifts occur, helping readers connect tone changes to broader narrative or thematic elements. Repetition and variation is key.

• Encourages close reading: Focuses readers’ attention on textual evidence, making them better interpreters of literary techniques. And demands readers to slow down, react and think about what they are reading and how it was constructed.

Tool for Writers: Imagery Evaluation Chart

Goal: To help writers analyze and refine imagery in their own work by evaluating sensory details, emotional impact, and thematic depth.

How It Works:

1. Create a chart like the sample below (sorry, I’m a teacher…I love charts).

2. Select 3-5 passages from your draft that rely on imagery.

3. Analyze the sensory details and their emotional effect.

4. Determine if the imagery enhances the story’s themes or characters.

5. Decide if revisions are needed—is the imagery too vague? Could it be more immersive?

6. Revise accordingly by strengthening details or clarifying intent.

Sample Chart for This Tool:

Example Application: Below is a sample completed chart using the first paragraph of “The Haunted Mind.” (Yes, yes, I know Hawthorne’s text is perfect, but suspend your devotion for just a few minutes while I make my point clear.)

How the Tool Helps Readers:

• Identifies weak or underdeveloped imagery

  • By completing the sensory details column, writers can see if their imagery is engaging and evocative or vague and forgettable.

  • If a passage lacks sensory details and there is little engagement, they can revise by adding details from other senses (e.g., adding sound or touch to a primarily visual description).

• Ensures imagery aligns with the mood and emotion of the scene/story

  • The mood/emotion column forces writers to articulate the intended effect of their descriptions, to feel their way through the writing. Remember, no tears in the writer, no tears in the reader.

  • If a passage creates an unintended mood, it signals a need for revision.

• Strengthens theme and character depth

  • The theme/character column prompts writers to check if their imagery serves the story’s larger purpose. Everything serves the story’s larger purpose.

  • If imagery feels disconnected from the theme or character development, they can revise to make it more meaningful or show how a character changes.

• Shows opportunities for sharper, more meaningful and intentional language

  • Writers can evaluate if their descriptions are fresh and original or if they rely on clichés.

  • The last column allows the writer to pinpoint where their imagery needs fine-tuning or a complete revision.

Writing Prompt to Practice Metaphors, Imagery, and Tone

Tuck yourself under the covers and whisk yourself away to the meditative land of Hawthorne. After reading and studying “The Haunted Mind,” write a short, short scene using the same devices as Hawthorne.

Think about your favorite character from a book, TV show, movie, etc. and imagine they’re having a sleepless night, a night when the boundary between reality and dreams blur. Your character reflects on a powerful memory that holds deep emotional weight—something that has shaped who they are. As they lie in bed, their mind conjures vivid images, metaphors, and feelings tied to this memory, blending and mixing the real and the surreal.

Write a story of 1,000 words or less where your character’s reflections reveal a central theme, such as mortality, love, loss, or self-discovery.

Include the following devices in your story.

Metaphor: Use at least one metaphor to express your character’s emotional state.

Imagery: Use imagery that immerses the reader in the atmosphere of the scene. Include sensory details of the setting—sounds, smells, textures.

Tone: Use a reflective tone throughout the story to evoke introspection and differing emotions.

Twist: End the story with a moment of clarity—a decision, realization, or shift in perspective—that echoes the theme(s) explored throughout the reflection.

I created a Google Doc of the prompt for you to use as you wish, click HERE. Make sure to make a copy.

Final Thoughts

I’ve been a fan of Hawthorne from afar for a long time. The American romantic of darkness, Hawthorne seemed less approachable than someone like Poe.

And I have to admit that when I first read “The Haunted Mind” the first thought that entered my mind was, “why the HELL did I pick this story to analyze?” I read, and re-read, the story at least a handful of times that first night I read it.

But as I dug into it and really looked at the language and how Hawthorne crafted the story, I not only felt at ease with his style but the story started to linger in my head for some time after.

If you’ve never read Hawthorne except for an AP English Lit class, then I hope this story and this post brought you an unexpected surprise. It’s a story that reminds us to confront our fears, embrace the unknown, and accept that the only certainty in life is uncertainty.

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Option #1: Leave a comment below about what you like from this newsletter and any tips for making it more helpful.

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My Mission

To give aspiring writers the tools and techniques to build their confidence, find their voice, and write damn good stories.

As I was studying Chekhov’s “A Country Cottage” for this post, I spent a lot of time thinking about how the themes and characters in the story might relate to my own life. I didn’t come up with anything groundbreaking or especially insightful.

“A Country Cottage” involves a young couple who are clearly in the early stages of their relationship, so, naturally I thought a lot about my twenty year relationship with my wife. The ups and downs, the highs and lows. Challenges that were internal and challenges that were external.

Chekov’s story reminds the reader that there is a fine balance between the perfection we seek in our lives and obstacles and set-backs life throws at us. And it’s how we react, together, in the face of those obstacles that defines our relationships with our loved ones.

It might be good to pause and read the story before moving on. It’s lovely story of about 800 words or so. And it should take you about ten minutes. Trust me. It’s worth it.

HERE is a link to a PDF of the story. Download it and save it somewhere. I guarantee you will re-read at least five times this week. And it’s a good resource to have next to you while you read the rest of this article.

For the sake of brevity, I summarized “A Country Cottage” below.

SPOILER ALERT! Summary of “A Country Cottage”

“A Country Cottage” by Anton Chekhov is the story of Sasha and Varya, newlyweds taking a romantic stroll in the countryside. They notice the peacefulness and beauty in the most mundane of surroundings. Their idyllic plans are interrupted by a group of raucous visitors, whose presence shatters the tranquility Sasha and Varya had envisioned.

Beneath the surface of this simple story is an exploration of disillusionment, the dynamics of being married, and the fragility of human idealism.

Chekhov shows us how even the most unassuming, mundane situations can reveal deep truths about human relationships.

What’s This Post About?

I’m a teacher by trade, so I only have one mode of thinking: how can I break something down and show someone else how to do the thing? I’m going to do my best to analyze how Chekhov crafts a compelling story by using metaphors and personification to create mood, foreshadowing to build tension, and dialogue to reveal character and character relationships.

I am not suggesting Chekov didn’t employ other techniques in this story. I’m only highlighting the three I mentioned because I felt like they provided the best examples to study and use in your writing (or to look for while you’re reading).

Together, the elements of metaphor, personification, foreshadowing, and dialogue create a story that feels both universal and incredibly personal.

To guide the analysis, let’s frame our discussion using the following questions:

1. How does Chekhov use metaphor and personification to create layers of meaning?

2. How does Chekhov use foreshadowing to build tension and suspense?

3. How does Chekhov use dialogue to reveal character and develop relationships?

When I’m analyzing a story, I like to rip it to pieces and examine every sentence and every technique, noting how each element works independently and then as a whole. To do this, I like to create charts, which you will see below, to organize my thinking. It helps me see patterns and focus my observations and analysis.

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How does Chekhov use metaphors and personification to create layers of meaning?

Metaphors and personification are two of Chekhov’s most effective tools used in “A Country Cottage.” Through these devices, he colors ordinary moments with emotional weight and symbolic resonance.

A few observations about Chekhov’s use of metaphor and personification:

• Making the moon a character adds an element of fantasy to the story. Simple, yet effective.

• The moon’s mood contrasts the mood displayed by Sasha and Varya. Love the idea of contrast and contradiction that Chekhov plays with in this story, across all the techniques discussed in this post.

• The moon takes on an almost immature, adolescent personality. I wonder why? The moon has a history of being a shining globe that lights the nighttime path of lovers.

• How the moon changes its behavior throughout the story as a response to what Sasha and Varya are displaying creates a character arc, almost like a villain’s character arc.

• The placement and timing of the train as a metaphor for a monster is fantastic and well-thought. The train becomes a point of transition in the dialogue, too.

By employing metaphors, Chekhov doesn’t just describe events—he invites readers into the emotional undercurrents of his characters’ experience. These metaphors heighten the tone of unease and reinforce the story’s broader commentary on the unpredictability of life.

How does Chekhov use foreshadowing to build tension and suspense?

Foreshadowing is another key technique Chekhov employs to draw readers into the story. Chekhov uses foreshadowing to drop subtle, nuanced hints to the reader about the reveal and shift in tone in the story.

A few observations about Chekhov’s use of foreshadowing:

• Foreshadowing is used for structure—for Sasha and Varya there is life before the arrival of the train and life after the arrival of the train. The arrival of the train is the midpoint in the story, ushering in a reversal of mood and a change in the characters’ behaviors and actions.

• Notice how each moment of foreshadowing yields an opposite action: the envious moon turns into a smiling moon when Sasha’s and Varya’s romantic jaunt is interrupted; the heavy, fragrant air of lilacs and wild cherry evaporate as the train emerges from the fog of steam; the chicken and salad big enough for two doesn’t seem to be enough when Sasha’s relatives arrives; and, what seems to be a picturesque and serene moment of watching a train arrive in a station gives way to a potentially long stay from unexpected visitors.

• I like how the examples of foreshadowing appeal to the reader’s senses: the smell of lilacs and wild cherry, the sound of corncrakes in the distance, the image of the moon peeking out from behind tiny clouds.

• The tension that builds with waiting to see the train before leaving is subtle. Tension doesn’t have to be gut-wrenching, on-the-edge-of-your-seat, palm-sweating tension. In fact, I think the subtle tension from Sasha’s suggestion helps create the drastic change in the story when his relatives surprise him and Varya.

By embedding these hints, Chekhov keeps readers engaged, inviting them to anticipate and piece together the unfolding tension. The technique ensures that the story’s climactic moments feel inevitable yet still surprising.

How does Chekhov use dialogue to reveal character and develop relationships?

Chekhov’s dialogue in “A Country Cottage” is sparse but impactful, serving as a window into Sasha and Varya’s emotional states. Below I chart the arc of dialogue between Sasha and Varya. It’s interesting to trace the story’s arc solely through the lens of dialogue.

(I couldn’t fit all of my notes on dialogue on one page. That’s why the table is split.)

A few observations about Chekhov’s use of the dialogue:

• Varya’s dialogue is playful and energetic. Her energy is infectious and embodies the mood at the beginning of the story—dreamlike, enchanting.

• Sasha’s dialogue isn’t as playful as Varya’s. His is more pragmatic, matter-of-fact. He acknowledges the idealism they are living in at the moment.

• I love how Varya is excited to see the train coming, not knowing that the train is monster carrying a secret that will dismantle her’s and Sasha’s fantasy.

• The irony between Sasha’s and Varya’s dialogue and their actions when the Sasha’s in-laws arrive is stark, especially when you look at their previous exchanges. This contradiction between words and actions create a powerful sense of conflict.

• Why does Sasha immediately blame Varya for his in-laws arrival? What’s really going on when he says that to her?

• Why is Varya the first one to greet Sasha’s in-laws? Though she’s equally annoyed by their arrival, like Sasha, she’s at least cordial enough to greet them.

• I love how only looking at the dialogue reveals the trajectory of the story in a similar way as the foreshadowing arc. The train’s arrival changes everything— how the characters speak to each other and the character arc of the moon. Really important to consider how dialogue can support or even highlight the other techniques used in a story.

Dialogue, in Chekhov’s hands, becomes more than just an exchange of words. It is a tool for revealing unspoken emotions and conflicts. It keeps readers engaged by adding depth to the characters and their relationships.

Your Turn: Readers & Writers Workshop

To appreciate and apply Chekhov’s techniques, writers and readers can engage use a few tools to deepen their understanding of metaphor, foreshadowing, and dialogue.

Tool for Readers: Metaphor & Personification Annotation Guide

Goal: To help readers identify and interpret metaphors and personification in a story.

How It Works:

Select another short story by Chekhov like “A Lady with a Dog” and use the following annotation strategy while reading.

1. Highlight or underline metaphors and personification in the text.

2. In the left margin note the literal meaning and symbolism of the metaphor and how the personification impacts the mood.

3. In the right margin note how the metaphor & personification connects to the story’s theme(s).

4. As you read, notice any patterns that emerge with the metaphors or how the use of personification changes. Patterns and moments of change are clues to look for.

Example Application: While reading “A Country Cottage,” a reader highlights “The dark monster crept noiselessly alongside the platform and came to a standstill.” In the left margin the reader writes, The dark monster is the train approaching and it symbolizes the arrival of something that will damage or destroy the idyllic scene they are experiencing. In the right margin the reader writes, The arrival of the train, ‘the monster,’ shows how quickly and drastically the romanticized life can quickly fall into disillusionment.

Tool for Writers: Dialogue Analyzer to Revise a Work-in-Progress

Goal: To help writers refine dialogue for authenticity and depth.

How It Works:

Create a four-column chart (see image below) with the following questions:

• What does the dialogue reveal about the character?

• How does the dialogue elevate the emotional stakes of the scene?

• What opportunities are there to add subtext through pauses, gestures, or silences?

Example Application: Using dialogue from “A Country Cottage,” I completed a portion of the chart as an example.

Writing Prompt to Practice Personification, Foreshadowing, and Dialogue

Let’s play Chekhov! After reading and studying “A Country Cottage,” write a short scene words using the same devices as Chekhov.

What happens when Varya and Sasha bring Sasha’s relatives to their cottage? Write a short scene of 750 words that occurs after Sasha’s family arrives. The scene could take place immediately after the train station or the scene might take place the next morning. What might the presence of Sasha’s family reveal about the relationship between Sasha and Varya? What if Sasha’s family really did travel to visit Varya?

Include the following devices in your story:

Personification: How might the Moon’s reactions change? What happens when the Sun arrives? How might the Moon’s (or Sun’s) reactions reflect or contrast what’s happening?

Foreshadowing: What subtle clues could you add that would foreshadow what happens? How might the “air” at the cottage feel? What about the food? How could you use the food to foreshadow what will happen?

Dialogue: What might further dialogue between Sasha and Varya reveal about their character and their relationship? How might the dialogue between Sasha’s family members differ from that of Sasha’s and Varya’s?

I created a Google Doc of the prompt for you to use as you wish, click HERE. Make sure to make a copy.

Final Thoughts

Through metaphor and personification that evoke emotion and mood, foreshadowing that builds suspense, and dialogue that reveals depth of character, “A Country Cottage” showcases Chekhov’s mastery of subtlety.

These techniques remind us that even the simplest stories can resonate deeply when crafted with care and intention. By practicing and applying these elements, writers can enhance their own storytelling, and readers can gain a richer appreciation for the artistry behind great fiction.

Help Spread the Word

If you found this post helpful, here are three ways you can help:

Option #1: Leave a comment below about what you like from this newsletter and any tips for making it more helpful.

Option #2: Click on the Subscribe button:

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Option #3: Share this newsletter to a friend who writes fiction.

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My Mission

To give aspiring writers the tools and techniques to build their confidence, find their voice, and write damn good stories.